The Disability Diaries : Growth

When the letter arrived home from school, stating that J1 had an 'Activity Week' approaching, I read it and wondered if it might all be a bit too much for him to cope with.  A whole week of being out of routine.  A whole week of travelling to different venues.  A whole week of extra curricular, over stimulation for his brain.

However, as the week drew closer J1 showed none of his usual 'out of routine' anxiety.  When I mentioned it to him in conversation, which I tried to do every evening whilst I got him ready for bed, he got excited and repeated back what he had heard in class about the activities.  He even started to do his 'excited' clench.

 

However, having 10 years of experience on my side, my own anxieties did not lay to rest as I pessimistically thought 'The meltdown will come at some point.'

 

But... It never did.

 

It never did!

 

I waited for it to start appearing, the constant repetition that 'He doesn't have too.' or the waking in the night crying and saying 'He'll stay home today.'  Like the rain you expect to see after having two days of blazing sunshine on the UK shores in the summer, I waited.

 

Nada.

 

Nowt.

 

Not a peep.

 

He continued to be excited and verbally upbeat.  So we responded in the same way and by the time Monday morning arrived the house was buzzing with talk of 'Activity Week.'

 

The first day I had to drop him to the venue as it was a park closer to our home than the school.  My own anxieties returned, in the past when I have taken him somewhere with the school he would cry for me as I tried to leave.  But this year, when handover came, he was more interested in his friends and what they had brought for lunch and didn't give me a backward glance.  I actually walked away, back to the car to the sounds of 'Byeeeeeee Mummmmmm!'

 

I could have cried.

 

With joy! 

 

Such progress!  Such growth!  I had not seen it coming.

 

Puffed up with pride I looked forward to the following day when I would be, cue dramatic music, staying for the day with the class on the farm trip.

 

I was not to be disappointed and I must say, etch it in stone for it to lay written forever, it was one of the best days of my life.

 

I got to spend the day watching, with my own eyes, just how far J1 has come since January.  He has built real friendships.  Buddies.  School pals.  The other children wanted to hang back with him, hold his hand, chill with him.  Spend time in his company.  They argued over who's turn it was to sit next to him for lunch.  And J1 revelled in it. 

 

As did I.  Gone was the school trip of past whereby if I so much as attempted to smile at another student he would burst into uncontrollable sobbing.  He wore a smile all day, as bright and beautiful as the sun.

 

We always look for achievements for our children.  For J1 this was a huge one.  It was one giant step towards independence.  The only thing I really pray he will achieve, and achieve fully in life.  Despite of his physical disabilities.  To have friends to laugh and joke with.  To have friends to share experiences with.  To get involved. To enjoy life.

 

My boy is growing.

Three Years of Britmums Live - A Journey

In June 2012 I was a virgin.  A Britmums Live! virgin that is, of course.  Actually, in all honesty a complete blogging conference newbie.

 

Over the two days in that first year I diligently attended every session with regard to blogging, in my long planned, schedule of the events.  I made a book full of notes, visited every sponsor, signed up to almost everything and left with so many goodie bags I could hardly walk to the station.  I made acquaintance with a lot of bloggers, and unbeknown to me at the time, true friendships with two or three others.

 

I ate and drank too much.  And I allowed my mind to be temporarily pulled away from my duties as a mother, wife and housekeeper.  It was two days just to think about blogging.

 

I was exhausted mentally but I loved it. 

 

I swiftly booked for Britmums Live 2013 and looked forward to it wholeheartedly for the entire year.  Over the course of those 365 days my blogging continued but my writing ambition also started to develop, so by the time June 2013 came I was thrilled to see the conference also start to include sessions on writing, publishing, and how to approach an agent.

 

Another new thing was introduced.  Speed dating with an Agent.  A small time slot whereby you could pitch your idea to that mystical figure : The Literary Agent.  I so desperately wanted to think I could do this, but my book idea was so new in the making I had little confidence.  However, one of my wonderful fellow blogging friends told me to be confident and do it.  With the decision made, next came the hurdle of how, out of 700 delegates were we going to bag ourselves one of those few golden slots. 

 

Time to be brutal.  We were outside the doors two hours early, for the first hour and a half, we were the only two people there.  I was, still doubting myself and so tightly wound, worrying that a rampage would occur and our wait would have been in vain.  That did sort of happen actually, but my dear friend shoved me to the front and practically wrote my name down for me.

 

My appointment wasn't until quite late in the day, and I felt physically sick for the duration leading up to it.  I felt even worse when my time came and I got in front of the Agent, who's mind was obviously going at a hundred miles and hour and she looked at me expectantly.

 

As my brain and mouth decided to epically fail me, I shoved my synopsis across to her and tried to remember how to breath whilst she scanned it.  Ultimately I got amazingly positive feedback and was walking on air in a mixture of sheer relief and astonishment that I had got 'POSITIVE FEEDBACK!'

 

So, it was worth it.  But on reflection my first day had been largely spoilt because I was so stressed out.  I decided I had to make day two more relaxed.  I realised  I didn't need to go to a session if there wasn't something I really wanted to go to.  So I largely socialised and mingled.  That too was fantastic, I chatted to authors and met Katie Piper.  I got as much out of year two, but in a different way.

 

My ticket for Britmums Live 2014 was booked on my return home and yet again the event was hugely looked forward to the whole year.  My plan for this year, to be chilled.  I took my time getting to the event, had lunch and a glass of wine whilst perusing the Agenda and then checked into my hotel.  I guess I had the comfort of knowing a lot of people that were going to be at the event and consequently it took a lot of the nerves away. 

 

When I walked into BRIT 1 for the opening keynote it felt like just yesterday I had been there and really surrounded by old friends.  As we all looked around it was wonderful to be able to nod in acknowledgement to people, to wave frantically mouthing 'speak to you after!' to others.  This time it was so much more about the social aspect.  I did attend the WRITE sessions and thoroughly enjoyed and felt I benefited from them. 

 

On day one, my friend and I discussed the possibility that we wouldn't attend next year.  Maybe it was time to find more writing focused conferences, that we felt maybe we had learnt what we could from this particular event?

 

By the end of the BiBs, I realised it isn't all about the learning and attending sessions to help us progress.  The event for me now is a wonderful opportunity that does not arise very often in the world of a stay at home mum / wannabe writer, to be 'just me' for two days.  To enjoy friendships in person that the rest of the year are virtual, to indulge in a bit of time to myself that if I didn't book and come along to an event like this wouldn't happen. 

 

For me the Bloggers Keynote is the pinnacle of the event.  They make you realise that other people have sadness in their lives, and that by writing about it you are not silly, weird or stupid.  You are all just trying to cope anyway you can, and for us, writing is one of those coping mechanisms.  The Bloggers Keynote is the absolute physical representation of a supportive and inclusive community.  A community that is called Britmums.  A community I am proud to say I am a part of.

 

And my ticket for Britmums Live 2015 was booked before I had even left the venue this year and I am looking forward to it already.

 

With special thanks to the following people for making this year so great : Sarah at Older Mum in a Muddle, Anya at  Older, Single Mum, Ericka at  Mum in the South, Ellie at  Mush Brain Ramblings, Amanda Jennings.

 

 

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week? #R2BC

What has made me cheerful this week - a great question.  The answer - quite alot.  I am linking up with Michelle at Mummy from the Heart and other bloggers who take some time throughout the week, no matter how good or bad, to find 'Reasons to be Cheerful'.

 

Here are mine, once you have read these, give some thought to your own week, even if you do not write it down the exercise will leave you feeling better than when you started.

 

* Cervical Cancer Prevention Week (#CCPW) was a huge success.  I had a lot of positive feedback and fabulous tweeters on Twitter really helped spread the word.  The really great news was several women messaged me to say that they had made a point of booking their screening.  My stand throughout the whole thing was if just one women did this it was all worth it, so you can imagine 'women' in the multiple sense was thrilling.  It was great to see such good national coverage on the campaign too.

 

* I spent the weekend with one of my oldest, dearest, best friends who I have not seen in person for ten years.  We lost touch a few years back, when life goes in different directions as it does but have been in touch virtually for over a year now.  We finally got our calendars together for a writing course we both really wanted to attend and made the whole weekend of it.  From the minute we met up on Friday evening we picked up where we had left off (but in nicer cars and houses) - and they say that is the sign of true friendship.

 

* I attended the Mumsnet hosted 'Starting out as a Freelance Writer' course at the weekend (tutor : Joanna Moorhead).  It was a wonderful insight into the world of feature writing.  Joanna broke down the myth and maze of getting ideas to relevant platforms. As well as being a great course, their was varied mix of women and it was so beneficial to have all of those minds joining in discussions and pitch practise.  I learnt an awful lot and feel very confident that this is the right direction of career for me now. 

 

* My services in Social Media have been procured for some actual paid work.  It isn't too much to take on at the moment as J2 is still at home full time but enough for me to get into the routine of fitting work into my routine.

 

* I chucked my name in the hat for a writing competition run by The Readers Digest this week.  I thought 'Got to be in it to win it' so overcome my 'I am not good enough fear' and gave it a whirl.  I am going to do this more frequently, thanks to the fantastic supplement that came with Writers Magazine a few months ago.

 

* The adaptions on J1's car that have been misbehaving were finally remedied this week.  It has taken four months, due to a 'delivery address' misunderstanding but it is now all working as it should be.

 

* We got confirmation this week that J1's bike has been ordered.  I think I can hear the 'tap tap tink' of it being built in Holland as I type.  This means we will certainly have it for when the warmer weather decides to grace us with it's presence.

 

I did warn you I had a lot of harp on about this week - but I thank my lucky stars I can, not all weeks are so positive and proactive so I like to make the most of the ones that are.

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week?

The first #R2BC of the year for me.  I hope to be able to write lots of these positive posts throughout the course of 2013 and join in the linky with Michelle at Mummy from the Heart, all round fantastic blogger and Reasons to be Cheerful founder and host.

 

The months of January and February are probably the hardest time of year to try and find positives.  Days are long, dark and cold.  It is harder to get out and about with the kids.  Even harder when you are trying to find indoor activities that are suitable for a lively 2 year old and a disabled 9 year old.

 

Work places seem to become more stressed and cash flow tight (isn't every ones?) in these months, which add pressure to home life.  Balancing and juggling become the order of the day.  Money, time, patience levels.

 

But all these things make it all the more important to spend five minutes finding some positives out of the week.  To help lift the spirits and see that in actual fact although it may not feel like it, progress has been made.

 

So, for the first of many for 2013, here are this weeks Reasons to be Cheerful :

 

* The flu virus I have been suffering with for almost a whole month finally seems to have left the building.  Although I still have a bit of a cold and the last of the sinus infection I have more energy.  Which has come in handy as school started back this week.

 

* We have been on time for school everyday this week and not forgot anything requiring further trips back and forth, one goal started to be achieved!

 

* We seem to have fallen straight into a good routine, both getting up in the morning and after school.  It feels nice to have some routine back.

 

* The book I (and other fellow bloggers contributed to) #100 Little Words has come out on Kindle.  I felt quite choked up showing my mum my words on her Kindle.

 

* I have to start researching for a Freelance Writing Course I am undertaking at the end of the month.  I am doing this course with one of my oldest school friends, who I haven't seen for 10 years, double excitement.

 

* The Hubby and I have barely seen each other this week so we have a lovely family time weekend planned, with a few home DIY activities.  We have decided although we can not afford to do much at the moment with our holiday coming up, we can do some de-cluttering and jobs 'we keep meaning to do' and start gathering ideas for a bit of home improvement.  We have a beautiful house and are not making the most of it's potential.

 

For other #R2BC posts hop over to Mummy from the Heart.