What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week?

The first #R2BC of the year for me.  I hope to be able to write lots of these positive posts throughout the course of 2013 and join in the linky with Michelle at Mummy from the Heart, all round fantastic blogger and Reasons to be Cheerful founder and host.

 

The months of January and February are probably the hardest time of year to try and find positives.  Days are long, dark and cold.  It is harder to get out and about with the kids.  Even harder when you are trying to find indoor activities that are suitable for a lively 2 year old and a disabled 9 year old.

 

Work places seem to become more stressed and cash flow tight (isn't every ones?) in these months, which add pressure to home life.  Balancing and juggling become the order of the day.  Money, time, patience levels.

 

But all these things make it all the more important to spend five minutes finding some positives out of the week.  To help lift the spirits and see that in actual fact although it may not feel like it, progress has been made.

 

So, for the first of many for 2013, here are this weeks Reasons to be Cheerful :

 

* The flu virus I have been suffering with for almost a whole month finally seems to have left the building.  Although I still have a bit of a cold and the last of the sinus infection I have more energy.  Which has come in handy as school started back this week.

 

* We have been on time for school everyday this week and not forgot anything requiring further trips back and forth, one goal started to be achieved!

 

* We seem to have fallen straight into a good routine, both getting up in the morning and after school.  It feels nice to have some routine back.

 

* The book I (and other fellow bloggers contributed to) #100 Little Words has come out on Kindle.  I felt quite choked up showing my mum my words on her Kindle.

 

* I have to start researching for a Freelance Writing Course I am undertaking at the end of the month.  I am doing this course with one of my oldest school friends, who I haven't seen for 10 years, double excitement.

 

* The Hubby and I have barely seen each other this week so we have a lovely family time weekend planned, with a few home DIY activities.  We have decided although we can not afford to do much at the moment with our holiday coming up, we can do some de-cluttering and jobs 'we keep meaning to do' and start gathering ideas for a bit of home improvement.  We have a beautiful house and are not making the most of it's potential.

 

For other #R2BC posts hop over to Mummy from the Heart.

2013 : Striving (#GetGrooving)

My last post considered what 2012 had been like for me and my family.  I was proud of our progress in most aspects of our life.  I, again, have had no time to sit down and write this week until now, but I have been thinking about what I would like to try and achieve in 2013. 

 

Participating in Kate on Thin Ice's #GetGrooving (Groovy Mums) helped me to focus my 2012 'Hopes and Aims' so I will be doing the same for 2013.  No one can predict the future.  How many of you have had things happen this year that you had no clue would ever occur?  Most I would think.  But a little planning never hurt anyone.  And things won't happen unless YOU make them.

 

With exception of all the normal things you hope a year will bring; good health; happiness for your friends and family; world peace; a lottery win; this post is all about the things that I can make, or help to make happen.

 

2013 Hopes and Aims

 

Family

 

* Holiday of a Lifetime - To really make it that.  As this is the only time, I believe, we will be able to take J1 on this holiday we need to make it count.  Do absolutely everything we ever dreamt of doing and on coming home, have not one single regret. 

 

* Bike Rides - With the award of a bike for J1, we will be able to do that very simple pleasure of going for a family bike ride.  I want to ensure we do this regularly.

 

* Physiotherapy - For J1's physical strengthening to continue to improve through vigilant physiotherapy at home and school.  Great progress has been made with this and it needs to continue as he is growing fast.

 

* Social - We have started to get out and about much more socially as a family and it has been fun and it will be lovely to keep this going. 

 

* Swimming - Again this another simple family activity that has been a little difficult for us to achieve.  However, we have found a swimming pool with reasonable disabled facilities and if we enlist extra hands we can do this as a family.  J2 is also scheduled to start swimming lessons in March.  Safety first for our little fearless one.

 

* Home - Continue to improve our home and garden, including de-cluttering.

 

Really these all come down to one thing - enjoying our time together as a family.

 

 

Personal

 

* Writing - I have a few writing goals for 2013 :

 

- Continue with Camomile Crescent

- Enter at least two writing competitions

- First draft of my novel (when J2 starts Nursery in April)

- To attend a writing workshop in January (booked) and Britmums in June

- Research the book industry in general

 

* Blogging

 

- Continue to blog at least 2-3 times a week

- Raise profile of Lynsey The Mother Duck, via Facebook, Twitter etc

- Get a personalised design for my blog

 

* Social Media & Charity Work

 

- Continue to help the Charity GRACE with their Social Media. 

- Set up a GRACE blog

- Learn more about Social Media as a profession

 

* Running

 

- Continue to run at least twice a week for general health and fitness and maintain weight

- Join a running club or set up a 'running buddies' scheme

- Try and set up a 5K race whereby all racers jog with someone in a wheelchair

- Enter 5K and 10K races all year

- Complete half marathon in March

 

There are also two from last year that are important to ensure happen again this coming year :

 

* A weekend for just The Hubby and I

* One Spa session every three months (only achieved one of those this year - must do better!)

 

Again this might seem like an exhausting list but I will be focusing on them in small bite size pieces.  Most things can be achieved with good organisation, clever use of time and a bit of determination.

 

Have a think about what you want from your year - those things that you can have control over.  What can you make happen?  Baby steps of progress can make the world of difference to a mind that is feeling low, and once you start, you never know what you can achieve.

 

If you need more inspiration take a look at all the posts over at Kate on Thin Ice and see how others are getting on!

 

 

 

 

 

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week

It was my intention to do lots of writing this week, posts and otherwise but unfortunately I have had no time to do so - best laid plans and all that.  However, no time like the present and I like to think about the positives of my week, even if it is the only thing I get to blog about.

 

This week Reasons to be Cheerful is being hosted by Becky at Lakes Single Mum so hop on over to see her if you want to read posts from other cheerful souls.

 

After another week has sped past in the blur of an eye, these are my reasons to be cheerful :

 

* Pregnant friend number two has delivered a little boy safe and well.  The fabulous couple now have a daughter and son and are very happy.

* My brother and his wife were part of a wedding party at the weekend so I got to spend time with my beautiful nephew SJ.  It was extra special this time because it is the first time J2 and SJ have really played together nicely.  I think SJ has been too little before now so to see them interacting was great.

* I have seen two of my best friends this week.  Monday was spent hunting for Halloween costumes and having lovely coffee and cake with Mrs B-R and today was spent visiting one of my oldest school friends and her baby boy JK and discussing (very excitedly) wedding plans.  Thrilled that I will be Bridesmaid for her next year and we booked a date in our diaries for her to go dress shopping.

 

* Hubby had his tummy assessment.  Although it isn't great that he is having the issues he is having it is good that they are being taken seriously and investigated.  The horrible part is now out of the way and we just have to wait for the results.

 

* I had two treats this week.  The first was a long overdue hair appointment.  It was lovely sitting in one place for more than 10 seconds, being brought coffee, biscuits and magazines.  The second was a surprise from the Hubby - a copy of the new Masterchef Food Bible.  Just having the page of weights / measurements etc in the front is worth its weight in gold.

 

* Even though I can feel a cold starting to break out I am happy it is this week and not next, when the Hubby and I have a night away in Portsmouth so I can participate in The Great South Run.

Would You Trade Sunday Trading?

I had an 'interesting' conversation with a friend of a friend the other day about Easter.  They were, in my opinion, a little short sighted on the whole event and claimed that if you were not taking part in it for religious reasons then you should not partake in it at all.

I do not normally get into debate whatsoever with regard to religion, each to their own, but they were so 'forceful' with their own opinion on it, I got a little infuriated.  I am not religious at all, that is my choice but I know the role that Easter plays to Faith and understand it is important to those that do have a belief.

However, to be told that I should not indulge my children in a chocolate Easter Egg, or 'enjoy' the Bank Holiday Weekend in it's honour was taking things a little too far.  My argument is that the 'Egg' symbolises New Life and / or New Beginnings.  This could be used therefore, to start new friendships, or wipe slates clean, or even begin new era's for children, for example; taking away a dummy.  It is a positive symbolisation to people, whether they follow a belief / faith or not.

The most important thing to me when it comes to Easter however, is that it is rare occasion when the country has a long weekend.  My husband works full time and long hours and so do most of my friends so those occasions are longed for and looked forward too.  Easter is one of the only other times, apart from Christmas and even that is slowly being shortened and shortened with everything open until 10pm Christmas Eve and open again 10am Boxing Day, that you can indulge in good, old fashioned family time.

My favourite day of the four though, is Easter Sunday because, like Christmas Day almost everything commercial is closed.  For me, it is a day for enjoying your home, enjoying each others company,  enjoying 'the old fashioned' Sundays of my childhood where every Sunday was family day.  Saturday was the day to enjoy going out and about and Sunday meant a lazy start, Sunday morning TV, Nan's Roast Dinner, watching 'The Match' in the afternoon and homework in the evening.  This is my romanticised memories anyway.

There has been a lot of debate recently regarding Sunday Trading hours, and whether it would be beneficial to extend them for the Olympic period.  The argument for (that I heard on the radio debate I was listening to - and before you mock and giggle, I was at my mum's having lunch and it was on) is that is a unique experience and visitors will expect to be able to get anything, at anytime.  The argument against, was that once the rules are relaxed will they go back to being restricted and what detrimental effect will this have on the British Family?

There was various points of view about staff being made to work more hours and therefore cutting further into their family time, but on the other hand, one employer argued that extra hours he requires are offered and he always has willing takers who happily want to earn the extra money or exchange a day off on Sunday for one they prefer in the week.

I have never been a Sunday trading fan, having been of the age where I had just starting working weekends to earn some pocket money and working in a shop was contracted Sunday hours.  Gone was the day to recuperate and recharge the batteries.  The day that you knew you had to entertain yourself with a book, or listening to music and waiting for the Chart Show to come on the Radio.  I know a lot of people say they loved it when the Sunday Trading came in because they used to be so bored on a Sunday but it was never like that for me.  I used to love the content feeling of a day in and knowing that everyone else was doing the same, bar a family visit or Sunday bike ride or walk.

Now there is always a reason to 'just pop out' on a Sunday.  I myself am guilty of using Sunday Trading when I haven't bought enough milk to last the weekend or am short of an ingredient for whatever I am cooking / baking.  But at least once a month I try and ensure that our family undertakes a 'Traditional Sunday' - no leaving the house apart from a post - roast stroll.  It gives me a little taster of my own childhood, although because I know the world is working a full pace, and many people are stuck behind a till, or working on a fitting room when they would rather be at home with their feet up, I don't get quite the same contentedness.

However, Easter Sunday, for that one day we get that and I would love to have that more.  But that is just my own personal opinion and I appreciate people respecting that.

A Simple Question - Do I Want Too Much?

A few days ago I put together my 'Aims and Hopes for 2012' - and that is all they are; things that I would like to aim to do throughout the 366 days that make up this year.


It was quite a comprehensive list granted, I had given it a lot of thought but now I am thinking was it was more of a 'wish list' than an attempt at putting together what I believed could actually be achieved in one year?  Should I have made that the first draft and then looked at it with my realistic head on and narrowed it down to say 4 or 5 items?

Do I want too much?

Should I (by happy choice) in my role of wife and mother have only put the 'family' ones on the list and put my personal options to one side until the days when I do not have small children that are dependent on me 24/7?  By putting them on a list for this year, am I being selfish to think I should have the time to try and achieve them?  I question this as my list did seem to be quite lengthy compared to some others I got to share, but, moreover I have been mulling over a conversation The Hubby and I had in the car on Bank Holiday Monday.


The Hubby and I, since the move to our 'period' house have become quite interested in attending antique fairs and shops, I in particular have always had a massive interest in vintage toys and dolls and so have been happy that this new 'hobby' we have acquired can be something we do as a family (even J2 will sit in his buggy with a drink and snack for half hour while we browse).  However on the car journey to the latest jaunt on a chilly January bank holiday The Hubby dared to mention the word 'Golf'.


The Hubby is (read 'was') a very keen Golfer, and to be fair a damn good one, and if I am honest that was a really attractive quality, that he had a hobby that he was really good at and committed too.  However the downside of Golf is the time element.  All fine and dandy if you are young, free and single, or even married but childless or if not childless the children are of an age where they are not hanging on mumma's shirt tails every minute of every day (i.e in school).  Plus it is quite an expensive hobby, Golf Club memberships are in my opinion extortionate (to the normal working mans salary) especially if you do not have the time to really make use of it.


I explained this thought process of mine to the Hubby, not in the logical and proper manner as just eloquently done in this blog, no instead I bitch snapped something about it not being fine that he would want to spend the small amount of spare time he has swanking around on the Golf Course instead of with his family, or shocker giving me a break from the childcare element of our relationship.  He, in his usual patient self, said he understood that but what he was suggesting was a Country Membership (or something like that, golf blurb is lost on me) whereby it allowed him to have a Handicap at a club and play in some one off tournaments, that were usually in the week so he could just be there instead of work and technically it would make no difference to the childcare situation.


This infuriated me more, he had found a way to have his hobby, he could trade one of his 'working days' in for Golf, when would I ever get to do that for anything leisure related in terms of my full time job of looking after the children and home?  J2 goes to nursery for one 'school hours' day per week (just to clarify after dropping him off I get in at about 09.30, I then have to leave to pick him up at 14.30 so get 5 hours) so that I, in that time, can; clean, iron, get the food shopping, tidy and sort and do the business accounts (for more on this sort of idea see my blog post 'What's not on the list of things to do').  Given that I can usually get 2 or 3 of those things done in that time you get the gist that 'extra curricular' activities do not get a look in.

At this point you would think that I am writing this blog to bitch about my life choices of being a SAHM and the fact that The Hubby wants to do enjoyable hobbies / activities.  No that is not the case.  Because what The Hubby was requesting was absolutely and perfectly reasonable.  If I worked full time and was the bread-winner I too would expect and feel that I was entitled to spend some time and money on a hobby, something to enjoy and look forward too.  However, we have children who need us all the time and the little time that isn't spent at work, surely, they need.  Likewise, when I am spending that 95% of my time caring for the children I feel I am also entitled to a break and some time to do something for me, that isn't child or family related. But those things come after 'family time together' which doesn't leave enough time for us both to be entitled to 'do our own thing' does it.

The Hubby and I have had a conversation and also, now looking over my 'aims and hopes list' I have been left thinking 'I am so selfish, I want to try and write, take photographs, run, why should I want those things when I am a mother to a young and beautiful family?'  Shouldn't that be enough; Do I want too much? 

So where do we draw the line?  What is in fact fair, to us, the adults and decision makers as individuals and 'the family'.  Right now with young children that we made the full and conscious decision to have together, should we be grumping about not getting to the time to do activities that, in effect when we decided to have a young family, we said goodbye to having the time and money to do?  Babies and children are those things for such a short time that should we put everything on hold until the time comes when our children decide they do not need us quite so intensely.  Or by not giving ourselves some time to remember that we are in fact individuals as well as 'Husband and Wife' and 'Mum and Dad' are we being detrimental to our family?  Does not taking some time out, to do something small for ourselves instead of for each other or the children, make for a big problem in the future?  Having something to look forward to, whether it be a family related activity or individual surely makes us happier on a day to day basis, isn't that why we plan trips out and holidays?

Most of the time I feel empowered by the fact that even though as a wife and mother I can still see 'me' as the person I was when my children came into the world and my husband met me for the first time.  That I can still remember what I wanted to get out of my life time 'before family', but should that change completely now I have a Husband and Children?  The same can be said for my Husband. 

I guess because I consider the things I would like to achieve as small (I do not want to disappear off around the world or spend a year working on a cruise ship or be away from them for any length of time) a blog post here, a race day there and for the Hubby a mid week tournament a couple of times a year that it is too much to ask?  Not really.

So why does it seem it?

Christmas ... All Wrapped Up

A friend of mine made a very good point the other day.  She noted that she had purchased and mostly wrapped all her Christmas presents and placed her Christmas food shop to be delivered late on 23rd December, and was very happy about it. 


Another friend noted / asked wasn't she sad that she wasn't going to have the joy of doing it in the throng and throws of Christmas in December when it was more ambient?  This has always been the stand that I have taken, I love having the same Christmas music piped in every shop while you queue for 20 minutes to pay whilst sweating out in your winter coat, that is what I remember from my younger years, particularly as I started to earn my own money and was responsible for purchasing my own gifts for people. 


My friend noted that with working full time and fitting in all of her childrens activities it would not be a happy, ambient time and any spare time left in December would now be available for some quality family time, something that in previous years had lacked a little.  And I would have to agree that I do understand exactly where she is coming from.


I always worked full time, a necessity as a single mother as I was at the time, but until I started working in a position that meant I had four hour round trip commute to add into the mix I didn't realise how much I would appreciate Internet shopping and a very generous mother that received all the delivers for me!  Wrapping was done in snatched hours here and there when J1 had gone to sleep and I think the grocery shop was done at stupid o'clock one morning at a 24 hour Tesco's.  Nothing Christmas-y or ambient about that.


And even though I am now a stay at home mum, having children that you are trying to keep only aware of the spirit of Christmas (i.e. not buying presents sneakily while they are with you, they ALWAYS see something or wrap them while they are not in the house, rare) doesn't make it the easiest thing to do.  Also, even though I no longer have a full time job in the mix, last year between October and March it was a manic time. 


We had a wedding to plan in a short amount of time, my mum's 60th birthday, Christmas, J2's first birthday and whilst all of that was going on J1 had to have massive surgery on his hips in November, which put him in a double A frame leg cast for six weeks, which because of his size the set had to be wider than the door frame, thus meaning he was bedroom bound for the duration. 


I realised that I was going to have to sort Christmas in a practical manner rather than an indulgent one like I used to be able to do BC (Before Children) and again, because of all that was going on, including having a nine month old as well, the 'preparation' Christmas spirit was lost a little for me.  However, what was gained was quality family time, we sat in J1's bedroom and played Christmas music and watched our favourite old Christmas movies, we made Christmas decorations from kits and wrote letters to Santa.  We decorated J1's bedroom so it was his very own Christmas grotto, and we all loved to be in there in the evening as the lights twinkled away.


And that is what my friend had found in previous years, she was so busy trying to fit everything in to get that Christmas spirit that you can afford when you are a young, single person that she spread herself too thin and ended up not enjoying any of it, and she was trying to rescue that this year.


That inspired me to do the same because the plan this year was to leave it all until December this year, to drop back to old habits.  But then I remembered how lovely those Santa Grotto evenings with the children was, and with our tradition of buying a new 'holiday / seasonal' movie every year we have got a fair few to watch. 

So this year hubby and I struck a deal, we would do the bulk of the shopping as and when we saw things, and via the Internet as long as I had one afternoon in which to purchase 2 or 3 gifts, in the old traditional style.  And we were lucky this year, our annual weekend away took us to Cardiff, Wales and the Christmas decorations in the City were awesome and it was manic, even though it was November not December, so I still got the 'old' Christmas tingle.

And I still have the excitement of getting everything wrapped, which by tradition my mum and I do together all in one afternoon while listening to our old Christmas Cd's (and I believe my mum still has a few 'tapes' - retro) and eating a Terry's Chocolate Orange each (traditional, none of these new fandangled ones they bring out).

So I am very much looking forward to December, I have no panic buying to do, only wrapping, tree decorating, eating, watching movies and making old fashioned Christmas decorations with the boys.  I haven't even got Christmas Dinner to do this year as it's our turn at my parents. 

December cometh.