New Beginnings

A very dear friend recently said goodbye to the blog for which she is known and loved.  A brave step, but the right thing for her.  We discussed this together, at length, in June and she stuck to her guns.  Seeing her 'take the plunge' prompted me to think about this, my own family lifestyle blog, which has been largely ignored for the last year. 

 

Whilst I adapted to life in a brand new area, away from the on-hand help of my parents, the small amount of child-free time I possess has been thinly spread.  Volunteering at both children's schools (a great way to settle into a new area and meet local people), keeping on top of all of the normal day to day running of our home, administrating the endless rounds of appointments and chasing professionals to ensure J1 has everything for his special needs and finally, planning, researching and writing the first draft of a novel. 

Blogging has become such a huge thing now, much more so than when I tentatively started out four or five years ago.  There are some absolutely amazing family life bloggers who have taken it much more seriously than I ever did, and flourished and reaped the rewards for the time and effort they put into making their blog work.  It is heartening to see. 

 

But a career was never why I started my blog.  Mine was born out of a pure need to get all my mixed up thoughts out of my head.  That coupled with a desire to write again.  After turning from a single mother with a busy full time job in London, to suddenly being a new wife and stay at home mother to my seven year old son with disabilities, and a new born, I found I was still constantly on the go, but had no one to talk to about it anymore.  When I stopped working all I could think about were the things I would not miss; the long, temperamental train commute; the cold, dark, early mornings and often late nights; sitting in an airless office with the sun shining outside; saying 'Yes, of course.' when what I really thought was 'Do it your bleeding self you lazy arse.'  I hadn't taken time to consider that as you grow older, friendships are mostly work-based and if you are not working ...

 

Let's just say it took me a while to adjust.

 

Blogging helped me to do that.  I not only found the therapy I needed in writing, but also a wonderful community.  Online acquaintances become real people, and I am lucky enough to say, real friends after being brave and attending the Britmums Live weekend that first year.  And for the next few years it became our annual get together.  But peoples lives move on, including mine, and suddenly I do not have a baby / toddler at home to constantly be entertaining and keeping ten steps ahead.  A window of opportunity opened. 

 

I came from a successful career I enjoyed but had never had a real passion for.  I grew up in an area where people were workers, no doubt about that, my whole family have toiled their whole lives - but no one said to us 'What do you really want to do?'  Work was to earn money and keep your head above water.  Choose a job you could do and maintain. I did well, flourished in my roles and climbed the ladder to having a career, rather than just a job, and that is when I realised, I could have done anything had I known.

 

I am not saying University was frowned upon, not by any means.  I was quite academic and I was one of the few encouraged into further education, but I still didn't have any idea of the opportunities, I have since discovered, would have been available within the literary industry had I really taken the bull by the horns in my younger years.

 

But I digress.  I guess what I am trying to say is I love my blog, it was my baby and it has been lovely nurturing it and watching it develop.  But in the main scheme of things, it is run of the mill, one of many, not one of the best.  I have sat and looked at it, many times, over the last year and thought I just don't know what to write?  I suppose because I have now adjusted to how our family unit works, I don't need to write posts to try and straighten out the thoughts in my head.  Well, apart from on one thing. 

 

Disability.

 

The disability section of this blog, The Disability Diaries, for which I can probably say has been it's most successful part in terms of 'blog success', is still something I do find myself needing to write about.  I probably always will.  

 

So, I am not closing this blog down.  But, I am making it purely about The Disability Diaries. 

 

I always wanted The Diaries to help raise awareness of the challenges faced by those who share disability within their lives in some way, and I want to continue to do that, it is as vitality important to me as forging myself a new career involving the written word.

 

Which, by the way, I am also planning on doing.

 

I am launching a new blog in February called The Very Pink Notebook, dedicated to all things bookish.  Reviews, releases, author interviews, tours.  As soon as the site is live I will be posting the link.  If you love the world of books as much as me, please follow and support.  I hope it gives you as much enjoyment to read as I am hoping it will give me to write and develop.

 

Of course, I continue to pursue the big dream too.  The novel.  I am having a wonderful time exploring and learning all about the industry which I hope to one day be a part of in some way.  There is a blog prepared for that too.  I will document my journey - but now is not quite the right time for that launch.  When it is you will be first to know.

 

No, when I was young no one really ever asked - What do you want to do?  So I decided to ask it myself. 

 

Wish me luck.      

 

 

   

Wowzer

Where does the time go?  Seriously.  I have just noticed it has been almost three months since I last gave the blog any attention.

 

Dear blog. 

 

Sorry.

 

Regards, Lynsey The Mother Duck.

 

The last three, beautiful, summer months have been fun, fast and furious.  The school six week break flew past.  Our Mexican holiday was enjoyed and too soon became a wistful clutch of memories and photographs on the wall.  J1 enjoyed respite and quiet at his grand-parents by the seaside, while J2 indulged in some parental one to one time.

 

The count down to J2 starting school turned from months, to weeks, to days until eventually the school uniform was donned and the battle of walking to school commenced.  My mother asked if I shed a tear when my littlest hobo took those first tentative steps into school.  My response?  Hell no!  I delivered him, waved goodbye and left the playground doing a Friends, Chandler-style victory dance!

 

I love my boy as much as any mother could but he was so ready to go to school and honestly, I was glad that the time had come.  He was desperate for more.  More stimulation, more company, more knowledge.  More than I could give him on my own.  The time was right and he is loving it.

 

For me, having both children at school is something I have openly looked forward to.  However, it has still taken me these last few weeks to get used to.  The first week, from the minute I left the school I did not stop.  I had lists of house projects that I was determined to get done.  And get them done I did.  I was glad I had allocated September for 'Project Clean Up'  My home is more in order than it has been for, probably, the last 10 years.

 

I knew unless I did it first I would not feel comfortable kick starting the writing effort.  As I turfed out cupboards, ordered units and gadgets to assist with the mammoth sort out I started to feel overwhelmed by just how I was going to achieve my writing goal (GOAL : to have a first draft written and the first three chapters polished ready for The Festival of Writing in September 2015).  The Fear started creeping in.  As I de-cluttered more and cleaned harder I started to procrastinate.  I avoided going into my Writing Room.

 

As my house 'to-do' list shrunk, my panic grew.  I had waited almost three years for this time to become a reality and I was freezing up.  Then an email came through.  An email inviting applications to join in a six month project.  A six month novel writing project.  It was a beacon of light guiding the way.  A supportive, helping hand being offered. 

 

I applied.

 

I was successful.

 

So, suddenly I am doing it.  Writing a first draft in six months.  A week in and we have been served with foundation exercises that I have never considered spending the time doing before, but already I can feel has helped develop and grow my plot, idea, setting and characters.  It is fantastic to be learning again too.  I am doing things I will definitely do and use in the future.  I love how we have a calendar and schedule, anyone that reads my posts will know I am a routine and structure lover.

 

I have asked myself why didn't I think of that before?  Well, it's all new to me, novel writing, not the idea but the actual physical production of it.  Yep - hand up!  Newbie alert!  I have done the usual jump in writing, get to 20k and stop.  But I have never actually stopped and given the time to do the background work, probably ignorantly thinking the time would be better spent writing.  How wrong was I.  As I said, I am learning a lot already.

 

So, wowzer!  I am actually doing something I set out to do.

 

I am writing.

 

I am writing, a novel.   

 

My novel writing course is with the lovely Charlie and Amie at http://www.urbanwritersretreat.co.uk/

The Plan is Set - This Ship is Ready to Sail

So, I was back from Britmums Live.  I had written the blog post laying down the gauntlet.  I had purchased the A1 paper and colour pens to produced the progress chart for the wall.

I was ready to make this my year. 

To write.

Full of cocky arrogance and hope I opened the door of the 'largely abandoned for the last six months' room in the house.  My office.

Shock consumed my eyes. 

No longer was it the female domain I had left.  Instead the floor was almost entirely covered in other peoples junk. 

"But!" I wailed "This is my one little piece of space - what happened here?"

What had happened?  I had taken my eye off the ball.  The men in my life had slowly started to etch into forbidden territory.  And I wasn't there to ward them off.

With a fire in my belly I set about righting the wrong.  Framed football shirts and random shite from husbands work were removed.  Cases were returned to their rightful place (the loft).  Toys were evicted and marched back to the toy box.  Dumped paperwork cleared.  Surfaces polished.  And finally after two solid hours, rocking along to 'The Ultimate Running' CD...

Normality was resumed.

Shoulders were unclenched.

The face softened back to it's normal scowl.

The writing plan could commence. 

In all seriousness, my space is important to me and I intend to spend a lot of time within these four walls, doing what I set out to do (see Setting Sail with a Plan) so it needs to be neat, it needs to be tidy and it needs to represent me.  I am so lucky to have this room and I want to do it proud.  I have a 12 month plan (September 2014 - September 2015) with the culmination being the attendance of the York Festival of Writing.  I have a lot of work to do. 

 

I have a wall chart with my monthly targets and space to monitor the actual progress.  It covers a range of basis from blog posts, to word count, to short story competitions.  I am not under any illusion this will start prior to September as it is the Summer Holidays and full time Motherhood ultimately rules all.  If anything gets done it is going to be filed under 'Sheer Bonus'.

 

But at least the space is there waiting for me (as will I be, at the door with a necklace of garlic and waving a crucifix if anything remotely looking like a toy or work junk starts to get too close...)

Setting Sail with a Plan

In my last post I lamented about how much I had spent the year looking forward to attending Britmums Live, and for the friendships and social aspect that was whole-heartedly true.  But a small, annoying part of me kept chirping up and saying 'But you don't really belong this year do you?'

 

In the last 12 months I have probably completed a handful of blog posts, I slipped away from networking, Facebook and Twitter.   I would love to say this is because I have been focusing on writing my novel but that would be, well, a bareface lie. 

 

Of course I kept taking that little flea in my ear and stamping on it with the force of an elephant stampeding, but it didn't really go away.  When I arrived on the Friday and met with my fabulous fellow blogging friends, the little niggle actually got stronger rather than dissipating like I thought it would.  I looked around and surveyed at how amazingly, bloody well my friends were all doing and progressing with their writing plans.  They all seemed to have taken our success from the agents sessions last year and really run with it.

 

First drafts of novels had been completed, mentors sought and secured, poetry and flash fiction anthologies developed from scratch, agents approached, writing festivals attended and some were actually involved in the running of the Britmums Live event!  For every one of those achievements by those wonderful people I am truly proud and in awe. 

 

But it also served to me a stark reminder of what I had not achieved this year.  It seemed as if just when I was starting to get somewhere with my blog and writing, good feedback and a little bit recognition from unexpected sources for example, I stood, frozen like a rabbit in the headlines.  And whereas my friends in the same position took their little bunny tails off to the safe side of the road and saw the opportunity to run wild in the big green field, I decided to stay, stuck frozen and scared in the headlights.

 

For the first two hours of the event this made me a little sad.  I felt little enthusiasm to be there.  In my mind I was sulking, a bit like my four year old does when something doesn't go his way.  But I was only cross at myself.  I could make excuses.  To be fair I have had a lot on my plate this year.  Oh yes, I could find a perfectly legitimate and plausible reason for why I haven't made any progress with my writing plans.

 

But the long and short of it is this : Everyone has had a lot on their plate.  The bloggers keynote readings made that very clear and the only reason I have barely put pen to paper so to speak this year is because I haven't been bothered too.  I could have got up early, stayed up late, left the housework, insisted that I have an afternoon at the weekend to work.  These are all things everyone else has done in order to make progress.

 

All of the authors in the first afternoon session I attended categorically stated that they have hectic family lives.  They have children, husbands and houses to run.  But, in order to write they had to make sacrifices, just like their husbands have to for work.  But whereas, when you are out at work you don't see you have the choice, you just have to do what you have to do, when you are a writer making your own schedule you have to physically choose to make those sacrifices.  Because as I have proven this year, it is so easy to not make them and, quite frankly, get nowhere.

 

By the end of the two Friday 'Write' sessions I decided to turn my thinking more positive.  The reality was I had put nothing in for the last 12 months and thus had very little to show for it.  But, I was surrounded by the best possible example of people who had put a lot in and had much to show for it.  That is an inspiring thing (the whole Britmums environment is) so I decided by the end of the second session pouting over the last year was a waste of energy, bugger all I could do about it now. 

 

All I can do is move forward.  To acknowledge the self doubting, cautious side of my nature and then kick it to the curb.  To have more faith in my ability.  To spend some time planning (I am pleased to say I did actually even start to do this at the conference whilst I was enjoying some quite time with [brags] an award winning friend on the sofas outside whilst the warm summer breeze lapped over our exhausted faces). 

 

I don't know why I hold back, I have always been the same.  I am not getting any younger and this is the thing that I really want to do.  I acknowledge my life is hectic and I have been waiting for this new period in our family life to come around (my youngest will be starting school in September).  A whole new era will be starting.  A whole new routine.  A whole new chance.

 

So I have from now until the end of August to make a 12 month plan (it will be big and colourful and placed on the wall - like a hawk eye).  At the end of the 12 months (September 2015) I want (will) be in a position to go to the York Writing Festival with confidence and a first draft.  Many things will make up getting that confidence; getting my blog active again and engaging with people and getting involved with the communities; entering writing competitions and submitting feature pieces; asking for feedback; researching my book genre market - writers and agents.

 

In short getting back out there and not being afraid. 

 

That can't be so hard?  Right?

Three Years of Britmums Live - A Journey

In June 2012 I was a virgin.  A Britmums Live! virgin that is, of course.  Actually, in all honesty a complete blogging conference newbie.

 

Over the two days in that first year I diligently attended every session with regard to blogging, in my long planned, schedule of the events.  I made a book full of notes, visited every sponsor, signed up to almost everything and left with so many goodie bags I could hardly walk to the station.  I made acquaintance with a lot of bloggers, and unbeknown to me at the time, true friendships with two or three others.

 

I ate and drank too much.  And I allowed my mind to be temporarily pulled away from my duties as a mother, wife and housekeeper.  It was two days just to think about blogging.

 

I was exhausted mentally but I loved it. 

 

I swiftly booked for Britmums Live 2013 and looked forward to it wholeheartedly for the entire year.  Over the course of those 365 days my blogging continued but my writing ambition also started to develop, so by the time June 2013 came I was thrilled to see the conference also start to include sessions on writing, publishing, and how to approach an agent.

 

Another new thing was introduced.  Speed dating with an Agent.  A small time slot whereby you could pitch your idea to that mystical figure : The Literary Agent.  I so desperately wanted to think I could do this, but my book idea was so new in the making I had little confidence.  However, one of my wonderful fellow blogging friends told me to be confident and do it.  With the decision made, next came the hurdle of how, out of 700 delegates were we going to bag ourselves one of those few golden slots. 

 

Time to be brutal.  We were outside the doors two hours early, for the first hour and a half, we were the only two people there.  I was, still doubting myself and so tightly wound, worrying that a rampage would occur and our wait would have been in vain.  That did sort of happen actually, but my dear friend shoved me to the front and practically wrote my name down for me.

 

My appointment wasn't until quite late in the day, and I felt physically sick for the duration leading up to it.  I felt even worse when my time came and I got in front of the Agent, who's mind was obviously going at a hundred miles and hour and she looked at me expectantly.

 

As my brain and mouth decided to epically fail me, I shoved my synopsis across to her and tried to remember how to breath whilst she scanned it.  Ultimately I got amazingly positive feedback and was walking on air in a mixture of sheer relief and astonishment that I had got 'POSITIVE FEEDBACK!'

 

So, it was worth it.  But on reflection my first day had been largely spoilt because I was so stressed out.  I decided I had to make day two more relaxed.  I realised  I didn't need to go to a session if there wasn't something I really wanted to go to.  So I largely socialised and mingled.  That too was fantastic, I chatted to authors and met Katie Piper.  I got as much out of year two, but in a different way.

 

My ticket for Britmums Live 2014 was booked on my return home and yet again the event was hugely looked forward to the whole year.  My plan for this year, to be chilled.  I took my time getting to the event, had lunch and a glass of wine whilst perusing the Agenda and then checked into my hotel.  I guess I had the comfort of knowing a lot of people that were going to be at the event and consequently it took a lot of the nerves away. 

 

When I walked into BRIT 1 for the opening keynote it felt like just yesterday I had been there and really surrounded by old friends.  As we all looked around it was wonderful to be able to nod in acknowledgement to people, to wave frantically mouthing 'speak to you after!' to others.  This time it was so much more about the social aspect.  I did attend the WRITE sessions and thoroughly enjoyed and felt I benefited from them. 

 

On day one, my friend and I discussed the possibility that we wouldn't attend next year.  Maybe it was time to find more writing focused conferences, that we felt maybe we had learnt what we could from this particular event?

 

By the end of the BiBs, I realised it isn't all about the learning and attending sessions to help us progress.  The event for me now is a wonderful opportunity that does not arise very often in the world of a stay at home mum / wannabe writer, to be 'just me' for two days.  To enjoy friendships in person that the rest of the year are virtual, to indulge in a bit of time to myself that if I didn't book and come along to an event like this wouldn't happen. 

 

For me the Bloggers Keynote is the pinnacle of the event.  They make you realise that other people have sadness in their lives, and that by writing about it you are not silly, weird or stupid.  You are all just trying to cope anyway you can, and for us, writing is one of those coping mechanisms.  The Bloggers Keynote is the absolute physical representation of a supportive and inclusive community.  A community that is called Britmums.  A community I am proud to say I am a part of.

 

And my ticket for Britmums Live 2015 was booked before I had even left the venue this year and I am looking forward to it already.

 

With special thanks to the following people for making this year so great : Sarah at Older Mum in a Muddle, Anya at  Older, Single Mum, Ericka at  Mum in the South, Ellie at  Mush Brain Ramblings, Amanda Jennings.

 

 

The Writing Retreat

I have alluded to the idea, on more than one occasion, that now my youngest is headed for the big world of school in September and as the decision has been made that no more little J's are going to be coming into our life, I have reached the point where I can start to think about what I might like to 'do' - now I am not going to be spending 15 hours a day trying to keep the little ones alive (this will reduce to a mere 8 or 9... except in school holidays of course).

 

The idea is to write.  In a fanciful and childish way I claim 'When I grow up I want to be an author.' But unlike the wonderful ignorance you are allowed as a child I am now fully aware that this is no easy task.  It requires ideas and creativity (plenty of it), it requires time (plenty of it), it requires confidence (plenty of it), it requires discipline (plenty of it), it requires, like most things, some degree of luck (plenty of it).

 

But, I am willing to give it a try, because now is the time.  As my 35th birthday looms ever closer I have actually felt, for once, older.  I have never really worried about birthdays before.  My best friend is the opposite, as his birthday approaches he elopes off to 'Maudling Land' and the word 'Birthday' is not even to be whispered in his direction.  We buy cards with 21 on them. 

 

I suppose it has helped that I always looked younger than my years, obviously between the ages of 17 and 25 this was a factor I hated.  Having to carry ID everywhere and argue at the door of clubs that yes, it was genuine ID.  But after reaching my mid-20's I have enjoyed the fact that everyone thinks I am much younger than my husband (and although he baulks because in actual fact there is only two years between us I think he quite enjoys it too).

 

But, all of a sudden I am going to be 35.  It has a much bigger feeling that turning 25 or even 30 did.  I am not sure why it has started to bother me.  Maybe it is because, although I have been vaguely aware of years passing more quickly as I have aged, all of a sudden I am acutely aware they are passing in a flash.  That I have cousins, who to me were eternally my 'older cousins' in their 30's who are now turning 50 and it is I who is mid-30's.

 

My 'Well, I can't do it yet because of x, y and z.' factors are almost gone and I am left instead with, 'You need to do it now because you aren't getting any younger.' ringing in my ears.  With this, somewhat disconcerting, state of affairs I have started to put in the discipline.  My 'child is at nursery' allocation of hours are being prioritised for writing where possible but sometimes it is difficult to not let the house chores take over.

 

So, I put my business head on and decided to book myself out for writing.  Like, booking a meeting you know you can't miss or think about anything else whilst there.  I signed up for the Urban Writing Retreat one day course in London.  This is literally a day to write.  Take yourself out of your normal environment and concentrate.  And concentrate we did, it was lovely to see a dozen people all their to get their head down.  The idea may seem strange, why go to a venue with other people who you are literally there to ignore.  But it works.  With food and drink provided (including delicious home made cake), plus helpful writing prompts if you find yourself struggling for any reason to get creative, it was amazing how a change of environment and a common (unspoken) understanding of 'writing is hard work' can give you some drive. 

 

Sometimes sitting at the computer getting words down on paper can be lonely and quite frankly others seem to make the assumption it is a little frivolous which can knock your confidence.  But for those writing their first draft (or second, or third, or fourth) and beginning to understand just what it takes to get a finished product, sometimes it nice to be surrounded by others (even if just to ignore) that understand what you are going through and to know, in actual fact they are sitting there going through exactly the same thing.

 

I would guess a writing retreat may not work for everybody, but for me it did, I got just shy of 5000 words penned that day and the biggest sense of achievement.  I left knowing I had done a massive amount of felt quite content, rather than trying to snatch an hour or two here or there and scraping perhaps a few hundred words and feeling like I wanted to achieve more.  So I am glad I paid and took myself away to self indulgently think of nothing but writing.  It has put me in a much better mood in general which is beneficial to the kids and husband as well.  I have been able to feel I have started to gain a sense of self identity back which can be easily forgotten in the everyday hustle bustle of being a mum. 

 

My top tips for attending a writing retreat would be :

 

1. Make sure you know how to turn the sound off of your lap top (as mine made every noise possible I was so glad to have older mum in a muddle next to me to click the button to silence the 'never seemed that loud before' computer).

 

2. Make sure all 'updates' have been performed the night before (15 minutes into writing mine decided to restart itself and update - of course).

 

3. Don't be on a diet - you need cake.

 

4. Be prepared for sore eyes and laptop arm the following day.

 

Otherwise enjoy! 

What's My Password?

Well, it has been a while.  Months.  Never before has a blogging break lasted so long (well for me).  I guess it is like any hobby, you get out of the habit of doing it, longer you leave it - the harder it is to return to it.  You wonder where you can start?  Then it becomes a task.  So you put it off again.

 

Then, two things happened to make me realise that my writing is worth putting the effort into.  I read a quote recently and it stuck with me :

 

"My biggest reason for not giving up: No matter how hard it is to keep going, it is nothing compared to how hard it is to start over."

 

(facebook.com/DistantRunners - "Momma In Training")

 

How true is that quote?  I have already put so many hours and dedication into making my blog flourish, was I prepared to let a few months break put me off of my stride?  Put me off of writing?  The one thing I have craved to do my whole life, that I was starting to make a reality? 

 

The second thing that has been instrumental in me picking up the laptop is the fantastic writers and bloggers group that was born after the brilliant 2013 BritMums Live.  In particular thanks go out to Older Mum in a Muddle.  Her enthusiasm and commitment to supporting the group and encouraging aspiring writers to sit and actually (shock, horror) WRITE! and report back has been such a positive thing to see everyday, it made me once again want to sit and tap away at the keyboard.  

 

So, a quick sum up of why the break happened.  I think it was clear from my, few and far between, blog posts after March this year that life was stressful for me and my family.  Infact 2013, months one through six, were some of the most stressful we have encountered.  This was devastating given I started that January 1st so optimistic.  I think we all wondered if we would make it through the economic hit, but our crux was definitely this period.

 

Then came our Florida dream holiday.  Already committed to at a time when we thought things were going to be fine.  It was something that came around quickly and I found myself both looking forward too, we were going to accomplish a dream I had held for J1, and yet dreading - wondering what life I would return home too.

 

I think a guardian angel must have finally picked up on our pleas.  July saw a turnaround for our family life. Slowly but surely we have picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and worked our tails off making sure that we do not find ourselves in such a vulnerable position (ever) again.

 

Day by day, my mind is starting to settle a little.  Room for creativeness is starting to creep back in.  Things that we had planned, that had to be shelved are slowly starting to take shape.  Things are getting done.  We can start to move forward again instead of gasping for air just trying to survive.  As the stress levels come down, the children are not feeding off of the negative air and behaviour is improving.  Time is returning bit by bit and gradually my head is starting to venture into the territory that yes, maybe I will be in a position to write once more.

 

Bit by bit.  Step by step.  Word by word.

 

Lynsey The Mother Duck is back.

2013 : Striving (#GetGrooving)

My last post considered what 2012 had been like for me and my family.  I was proud of our progress in most aspects of our life.  I, again, have had no time to sit down and write this week until now, but I have been thinking about what I would like to try and achieve in 2013. 

 

Participating in Kate on Thin Ice's #GetGrooving (Groovy Mums) helped me to focus my 2012 'Hopes and Aims' so I will be doing the same for 2013.  No one can predict the future.  How many of you have had things happen this year that you had no clue would ever occur?  Most I would think.  But a little planning never hurt anyone.  And things won't happen unless YOU make them.

 

With exception of all the normal things you hope a year will bring; good health; happiness for your friends and family; world peace; a lottery win; this post is all about the things that I can make, or help to make happen.

 

2013 Hopes and Aims

 

Family

 

* Holiday of a Lifetime - To really make it that.  As this is the only time, I believe, we will be able to take J1 on this holiday we need to make it count.  Do absolutely everything we ever dreamt of doing and on coming home, have not one single regret. 

 

* Bike Rides - With the award of a bike for J1, we will be able to do that very simple pleasure of going for a family bike ride.  I want to ensure we do this regularly.

 

* Physiotherapy - For J1's physical strengthening to continue to improve through vigilant physiotherapy at home and school.  Great progress has been made with this and it needs to continue as he is growing fast.

 

* Social - We have started to get out and about much more socially as a family and it has been fun and it will be lovely to keep this going. 

 

* Swimming - Again this another simple family activity that has been a little difficult for us to achieve.  However, we have found a swimming pool with reasonable disabled facilities and if we enlist extra hands we can do this as a family.  J2 is also scheduled to start swimming lessons in March.  Safety first for our little fearless one.

 

* Home - Continue to improve our home and garden, including de-cluttering.

 

Really these all come down to one thing - enjoying our time together as a family.

 

 

Personal

 

* Writing - I have a few writing goals for 2013 :

 

- Continue with Camomile Crescent

- Enter at least two writing competitions

- First draft of my novel (when J2 starts Nursery in April)

- To attend a writing workshop in January (booked) and Britmums in June

- Research the book industry in general

 

* Blogging

 

- Continue to blog at least 2-3 times a week

- Raise profile of Lynsey The Mother Duck, via Facebook, Twitter etc

- Get a personalised design for my blog

 

* Social Media & Charity Work

 

- Continue to help the Charity GRACE with their Social Media. 

- Set up a GRACE blog

- Learn more about Social Media as a profession

 

* Running

 

- Continue to run at least twice a week for general health and fitness and maintain weight

- Join a running club or set up a 'running buddies' scheme

- Try and set up a 5K race whereby all racers jog with someone in a wheelchair

- Enter 5K and 10K races all year

- Complete half marathon in March

 

There are also two from last year that are important to ensure happen again this coming year :

 

* A weekend for just The Hubby and I

* One Spa session every three months (only achieved one of those this year - must do better!)

 

Again this might seem like an exhausting list but I will be focusing on them in small bite size pieces.  Most things can be achieved with good organisation, clever use of time and a bit of determination.

 

Have a think about what you want from your year - those things that you can have control over.  What can you make happen?  Baby steps of progress can make the world of difference to a mind that is feeling low, and once you start, you never know what you can achieve.

 

If you need more inspiration take a look at all the posts over at Kate on Thin Ice and see how others are getting on!

 

 

 

 

 

2012 : Achievement

I have been intending to join in with Kate on Thin Ice and the fantastic #Get Grooving initiative for a few weeks now.  Time has not been on my side.  However, although I may not have penned my post, it has been formulating and evolving in my mind, so I am not surprised that at my first opportunity to power up the laptop I have felt compelled to get it written.

I first started joining in with the 'Groovy Mums' blog hop at the end of last year and into the beginning of 2012 because it was a way of tracking what I was doing with my life.  I was entering a second year of being a stay-at-home mum.  I was used to not getting up and going out to 'work' and settled into my 24/7 job of raising two children. 

I craved some structure however.  Groovy Mums encourages you to look at ways to improve things in your life, and subsequently the lives of those around you.  To take steps to improve yourself, no matter how small.  To think about what you want out of life and think about how you can get it.

At the beginning of the year I set down a list of Hopes and Aims for 2012.  It was quite an extensive list and incorporated aims for us as a family and for myself personally.  After my initial post I wondered if I had aimed for a little too much in one year, given that I have a severely disabled son and an extremely hot headed Toddler to look after.

Then I slapped myself on the wrist.  That sort of attitude was not going to get me anywhere.  Instead of looking at the lengthy wish list as a whole, I decided I would focus on one or two items each month.  I am not going to go into a long detailed run down of them all, there are various posts already with updates.  The long and short is I achieved them all bar TWO.  And with that I am pretty damn proud.

What I am more proud of is, as I have been thinking about all of this, the realisation of all the extra things that have been achieved this year.  Not just little insignificant things either.  Big things :

* I started publishing some fictional writing.  I have never done this in the past purely due to fear.  I have also started working on a few 'novel' ideas that have been rattling around in my mind.  I have subscribed to a Writing Magazine, which has introduced me to lots of ideas, information and the idea that I might enter work into competitions. 

* I attended my first blogging conference and met some wonderful fellow bloggers.  This was also a nerve-racking step but I am so glad I took it.  Roll on BritMums Live 2013.

* We took the bull by the horns and applied for some specialist equipment for J1.  These were things that we had only ever believed to be 'wish' items, but I am so happy that we persevered.  They are going to make such a huge difference to all of us because they will open up activities for us to all enjoy that we have never been able to before.

* We also took the plunge and booked a family holiday of a lifetime.  We could have always been 'put off' by the amount of research and fact finding it requires but many incidences this year have made me very aware of how grown up J1 is becoming and we became determined that it could be made to happen.

* The Hubby and I have both found an individual hobby each to enjoy.  Mine is running.  I set a goal of participating in The Great South Run in October and am pleased to say I completed it.  My next goal is our local Half Marathon in March.

* I have started doing some volunteer work for a fabulous cancer charity GRACE.

So I think, as we hurtle towards the end of 2012, that if I had to use one word to describe our year it would be 'Achievement'.  This is very pleasing and I would like to think that as a family we can give ourselves a big old pat on the back.

What word would sum up 2012 for you?

If you want to make changes to your life, no matter how big or small, take a look at the inspiring posts from Kate on Thin Ice.  Kate encourages you to always keep going, even if you feel you may be treading water.  When you think about it, usually turns out you are achieving more than you think.  Link your posts to inspire others, or get inspired if you are lacking motivation.

Now I need to start thinking about what we can achieve in 2013 - the possibilities really could be endless...

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week

A busy week has meant that I am a little later than normal thinking about the positives of our week.  But of course that has meant there has been a multitude of items to choose from. 

 

Reasons to be Cheerful is this week being hosted by the wonderful Mama Owl as Mummy from the Heart is with ONE Mums in Ethiopia - so if your week needs shouting about join in the blog hop with her.

 

This week this is what has made me cheerful :

 

* I am amongst a multitude of pregnant ladies at the moment and this week one arrived safe and well.  Mummy, Daddy, Big Sister and Baby Girl J.A are all doing well and I can not wait to go Baby Girl clothes shopping (any opportunity when you live in a house of boys).

 

* J2 and I had a lovely trip to our local Zoo (Gold Cards were definitely worth it) with one of my oldest friends from school, his sister and her son for whom we were celebrating his second birthday.  Many laughs were had and the boys played so well together.  They were both asleep before we left the car park at the end of the day.

 

* We had a wonderful piece of post arrive saying that we can get a power pack for J1's wheelchair.  This will make a huge difference and make our sea front walks possible again and Zoo trips available even when it can only be mum and I that can go.  This opens up a lot of opportunities to get J1 out and about more.

 

* We attended a wonderful Harvest Festival service with J1's school.  A sure sign of Autumn.

 

* I submitted a piece of writing to a very positive response and have been asked for another.  I have also been asked to guest post for a parenting website, all very exciting.

 

* Potty training is continuing with J2 and this week has been more good days than bad.

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week?

Reasons to be Cheerful - Mummy From The Heart

 

Yet another week has sped past in a flurry of school runs, rain and picking up (lots) of puppy poopy.  But a lot of changes have happened in the fast paced week.

 

With the arrival of October, much Halloween discussion has started on Facebook.  Some people have even dared to start discussions on the 'C' word.  In our house we are not allowed to mention the 'C' word until after J1's birthday in November.

 

The heating is scheduled to come on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening - just to take the chill off.

 

The 'Winter Warmer' recipes have been cracked out of the cook books in preparation for walking in from the cold to a smell of slow cooked meals to melt in the mouth.

 

Yes, a season has truly changed this week.

 

One thing has stayed the same however.  That is, it's Thursday and time to think about things that have made me cheerful this week.  This is a blog hop with Mummy from The Heart - if you need lifting hop on over and read some other happy and grateful posts.

 

So, what has the last seven days meant for me?

 

* I participated in Race for Life and it was truly inspiring.  I was also very happy with my time!

* J2 and I have been baking this week.  We made fairy cakes from 'Jo Wheatley A Passion From Baking'.  I made the cakes and J2 did the toppings (well a few he lost interest after that) but they were all yummy.  There are many more recipes in this book that just look amazing and I can not wait to try them out.

* The Puppy is settling well.  She is very playful and eating well.  She is getting used to sleeping downstairs.  Now she has had her first set of injections she can go out in the garden - which means less poop hunting indoors.

* A couple of writing opportunities have come to light which is very exciting.

* I purchased my Mumsnet Blogfest ticket and am very excited about seeing Mush Brain Ramblings, The Digital Baby and Older Mum in a Muddle in November for a reunion.  One of my best school friends also said she is hoping to attend, if she does it will be the first time we have seen each other for about ten years.

 

We have quite a busy seven days approaching so hopefully there will be lots to be cheerful about next week too.