This week I am dedicating my blog to Motherhood. With Mothering Sunday fast approaching I wanted to spend a week enveloped in Appreciation for Motherhood, in all it's guises. In a series of amazing guest posts we are hearing what Motherhood means to an array of writers. Our guest writer today is fellow blogger the Harrovian Mama who writes over at www.samandasha2.blogspot.com . All contact details for the Harrovian Mama can be found at the end of the article. Enjoy.
It doesn't matter how you become a mother. Whether it has been a long held dream or startling surprise, from the moment you see that '+' on the pregnancy test, your life changes. Like many mothers, the moment I discovered I was pregnant, I set about preparing myself for motherhood as if it were an exam I needed to pass. I bought books on pregnancy, on babies, on parenting and read them with scholarly fervour. I learned about breast-feeding, swaddling and pain-relief for labour. By the time my daughter was due, I was convinced I was prepared. But motherhood doesn't work like that. Sometimes, even if you do just as that baby guru advises, your baby just won't sleep. And as your child gets older, you learn that there is no parenting book on earth that can help you stop a two-year-old tantrum mid-flow.
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It doesn't matter how you become a mother. Whether it has been a long held dream or startling surprise, from the moment you see that '+' on the pregnancy test, your life changes. Like many mothers, the moment I discovered I was pregnant, I set about preparing myself for motherhood as if it were an exam I needed to pass. I bought books on pregnancy, on babies, on parenting and read them with scholarly fervour. I learned about breast-feeding, swaddling and pain-relief for labour. By the time my daughter was due, I was convinced I was prepared. But motherhood doesn't work like that. Sometimes, even if you do just as that baby guru advises, your baby just won't sleep. And as your child gets older, you learn that there is no parenting book on earth that can help you stop a two-year-old tantrum mid-flow.
Everything in the media and world around us reinforces our fear that 'motherhood is an exam'. That it is something we can fail or be graded at. The way newspapers swing between damning working mothers and criticising the lack of ambition of stay-at-homers. Everything from how we give birth to the way we wean our child is judged and critiqued. Somehow, amongst all the conflicting data, we are supposed to make the correct choice. A hundred years ago, parents were being told to rub whiskey on teething gums and I dread to think what historians will say about some of the current advice for parents. There is not always a 'right' way and the experts don't have all the answers. All these books, articles and magazines that tell us how to do 'it' - how to be a mother - we should use these as guides, not bibles. Because at the end of the day, if you only ever act out of love, you can't go too wrong.
Being a mother can be tough at times, but in return for those parenting dilemmas, sleepless nights and nappy with truly unspeakable contents, you get to experience a wonderful, unique and all consuming love. And no book on earth can prepare you for that.
About Harrovian Mama
Hi, I am the Harrovian Mama, a proud mummy of two babies aged two and under; the gorgeous Leila (2) and Harry (9 months). Even though I am supposed to be teaching them, they have taught me so much about myself and my capacity for love. I blog at www.samandasha2.blogspot.com and you can find me on twitter @HarrovianMama. Always feel free to say hi!
This is such a lovely post! No two children are the same and no book or guide or "guru" can tell us how to parent our child better than our own instincts tell us... yet it's hard to remember that when advice and guidance (often unsolicited) comes at you from every angle, isn't it? Thanks for the reminder to parent from the heart x
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