This week I am dedicating my blog to Motherhood. With Mothering Sunday fast approaching I wanted to spend a week enveloped in Appreciation for Motherhood, in all it's guises. In a series of amazing guest posts we are hearing what Motherhood means to an array of writers. Our guest writer today is C. Lee Reed who runs the website Helicopter Mom and Just Plane Dad in the USA. All contact details for C. Lee Reed can be found at the end of the article. Enjoy.
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I was thrilled to be asked to write for Lynsey The Mother Duck particularly as they celebrate Moms everywhere on their Mothering Day. I love the UK's version of USA's Mother's Day. It warms my heart to thinking of 'mothering' my child; celebrating the act and not only the person. During this time of year, we Moms get a lot of acknowledgement [and flowers] from our children and that always feels good. We relish this day dedicated to our roles in life and shamelessly soak in the gratitude; while it lasts. We have come to accept that the other 364 days of the year we are back to being 'plain old' Mom instead of 'fantastic' or 'superb' or 'outstanding' Mom. Truth be told, even if the holiday tradition didn't exist, we proudly wear our motherhood badge as we dutifully care for our children. It's never been about the recognition.
As the mother of a teenage girl, I find that my celebration becomes less and less each year. As a youngster, she would proudly present her school-made crafts in the prettiest wrapping paper. She would give homemade macaroni necklaces and play-doh vases that declared her unending love for me. I now sustain on a quickly written card with four simple words; I love you Mom. And I wouldn't have it any other way. You see, I've come to realize that as our children grow, they prepare for life away from us out in the big open world. Part of this separation is knowing that love always exists between a mother and a daughter, but that it has to move to the background in both our lives. If not, we'd never to the next step. So regardless of the lack of pomp and circumstance surrounding its delivery, that hastily scribbled card means so much.
Yes, I still long for her beaming smile as she hands me that Mother's Day poster, awkwardly drawn and colored, seen through her beautiful blue eyes. I am wearing an orange dress, my huge eyes don't quite fit on my giant round head and I'm taller than our house. The picture boldly states 'I love my Mom because she's the best!' I don't think I've ever looked more beautiful. I vividly remember wondering how'd I ever find one more empty place for the layers upon layers of artwork adorning my refrigerator. Now just a few small photos and magnets decorate the doors. Friends warned me that the day would come when I'd wish I still got these funny drawings and homemade gifts... I didn't think it would arrive so soon. I realize that this time in our life has passed and I will no longer receive such expressions.
Luckily for me, I can quietly slip into the attic, pull down that special box I've been hoarding, open it and revisit my daughter's love as shown through an incredibly large stack of oddities. Buttons, paperclips, beans and feathers have all played an important part in my daughter's love language. Each card expresses her now silent feelings for the mother she loves more than life. Each object holds a special place in my box of precious treasures.
As we prepare for this years Mother's Day dinner, I find my thoughts are taken to a new place. I have watched my daughter grow into a beautiful young women and I can't help thinking ahead to a day when she becomes a mother herself. Oh, how I want time to stop so that I can preserve this moment together, but alas, it presses on. I am also keenly aware of the love my own mother must have felt when she was in this same situation.
On this special day, I intend to hold my daughter close, kiss my hubby for his part in my joy and then call my Mom to tell her how much I love her. I also have to ask if she still has her box of memories stashed away too! Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mothering Day!
About C. Lee Reed
C. Lee Reed hopes to change the world's perception of helicopter parenting by proving that no harm comes to children whose parents hover. You can stay highly involved in your children's lives and still maintain a happy, healthy, loving connection.
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Such a lovely post with such heartfelt words. Really enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great perspective you have on the changing role you play as Mother as your daughter is growing and how even if the love is not so openly expressed, it is still there! Here's hoping we can all adapt to these changes as our children grown!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I appreciate the kind words.
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