Thursday, 8 August 2013

What's My Password?

Well, it has been a while.  Months.  Never before has a blogging break lasted so long (well for me).  I guess it is like any hobby, you get out of the habit of doing it, longer you leave it - the harder it is to return to it.  You wonder where you can start?  Then it becomes a task.  So you put it off again.
Then, two things happened to make me realise that my writing is worth putting the effort into.  I read a quote recently and it stuck with me :
"My biggest reason for not giving up: No matter how hard it is to keep going, it is nothing compared to how hard it is to start over."
( - "Momma In Training")
How true is that quote?  I have already put so many hours and dedication into making my blog flourish, was I prepared to let a few months break put me off of my stride?  Put me off of writing?  The one thing I have craved to do my whole life, that I was starting to make a reality? 
The second thing that has been instrumental in me picking up the laptop is the fantastic writers and bloggers group that was born after the brilliant 2013 BritMums Live.  In particular thanks go out to Older Mum in a Muddle.  Her enthusiasm and commitment to supporting the group and encouraging aspiring writers to sit and actually (shock, horror) WRITE! and report back has been such a positive thing to see everyday, it made me once again want to sit and tap away at the keyboard.  
So, a quick sum up of why the break happened.  I think it was clear from my, few and far between, blog posts after March this year that life was stressful for me and my family.  Infact 2013, months one through six, were some of the most stressful we have encountered.  This was devastating given I started that January 1st so optimistic.  I think we all wondered if we would make it through the economic hit, but our crux was definitely this period.
Then came our Florida dream holiday.  Already committed to at a time when we thought things were going to be fine.  It was something that came around quickly and I found myself both looking forward too, we were going to accomplish a dream I had held for J1, and yet dreading - wondering what life I would return home too.
I think a guardian angel must have finally picked up on our pleas.  July saw a turnaround for our family life. Slowly but surely we have picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and worked our tails off making sure that we do not find ourselves in such a vulnerable position (ever) again.
Day by day, my mind is starting to settle a little.  Room for creativeness is starting to creep back in.  Things that we had planned, that had to be shelved are slowly starting to take shape.  Things are getting done.  We can start to move forward again instead of gasping for air just trying to survive.  As the stress levels come down, the children are not feeding off of the negative air and behaviour is improving.  Time is returning bit by bit and gradually my head is starting to venture into the territory that yes, maybe I will be in a position to write once more.
Bit by bit.  Step by step.  Word by word.
Lynsey The Mother Duck is back.