My Writing Space in Pictures

A few people have asked to 'see' my much adored 'writing space' that I masterfully procured back for myself last week.  I think because I said it represents me.  So rather than putting a, probably poorly executed, attempt at a shot of the whole room I thought I would take a few snaps of the things in it, which give a good representation of why it means so much to me.

1. Family Life Tile

My lovely friend ML, used to run a wedding planning business.  During the course of her career she came across many cool wedding things but none more so, in my humble opinion, than this.  All the pieces of our wedding day immortalised into ink to be cherished.

The wonderful people who produce these can be found here : Your Life Tile

2. Antique Typewriter

I don't think this really needs much explanation does it?

3. Print of J1's Feet

Obviously J1 can not stand down to mark his feet for us, so it is always been quite difficult to get good prints and we have tried on many occasions.  But this one came home, quite randomly, from his after school club a few years ago and it took my breath away.  Hence it was swiftly framed and wall mounted.

4. 'To Read' Shelf

Yes, these beautiful articles (i.e books) are all waiting patiently to be the next called upon for my reading pleasure.  The bigger the pile gets the more excited I feel when I look at it.  Which some might think is odd, but to me it makes perfect sense.

Recently I have been on the hunt for books from my childhood and was tickled pink when I found my absolute favourite 'Tilly's House' by Faith Jacques.

5. My Mantra

When I first decided I was going to give this writing thing a 'serious go' I had this made in Wales.  And I think, not a truer word said, to be honest.


6. Bag Collection

I have certain places that are the holy grail of shops.  If ever I am lucky enough, or save enough to visit and actually purchase (instead of looking forlornly into the window, wishing 'If Only') I try and keep the bag as immaculate as possible so I can worship it.  Daily.

7. Barbie

And finally, a room saying 'Me' wouldn't be complete without a Barbie representative.  Past posts have already let out my secret.  I have collectible Barbies (and proud of them!) but sadly most of them remain in storage.  However, for now this is the Barbie Rep.

To some people this may seem sickly and self indulgent. 

You know what?

 I don't care. 

I live in a house of boys, where blue rules and every other word / sound is burp / fart / poo (followed by much hilarious laughter - seriously do they ever get bored of it?) 

So this is my space, my creative abode. 

Maybe one day the front page of my publishing contract will grace the walls and my own books line the shelf.

And maybe dreams will come true?

Proud

I realised, just the other day, that I am very proud of those around me at the moment.  There must have been something in the air for the last 12 months because while I myself have come to a cross-roads and I hate to admit, somewhat of an identity crisis others have been squirrelling away blooming.

 

My husband, takes spot number one.  He has single-handedly got a business off the ground and although the odd argument over the length of hours he works sometimes raises his head, what he has done in the last eight months is pretty astounding. 

 

Then there is one of my friends, who took the plunge and left her desirable marketing position because, to be honest, the company she worked for didn't want her to be involved in her family life very much, and started out on her own.  Now she has some solid clients, chooses her own hours and does the school run without the heart-racing thought of 'Will I make it to work on time today?'

 

My other friend decided to take a whole life break because, frankly, it was breaking him.  He packed up his job, flat and social life to return home where his family needed him as much as he needed them.  In doing so, and taking some time out from a longstanding fast paced city life he managed to establish what he wants to do with the rest of his life.  It means going back to basics, back to college, back to studying.  But, he is doing it and making a change.

 

Another friend and fellow blogger has written a draft of her book.  Actually sat down and done it.  From the planting of a seed to a whole first draft.  Start to finish.  Oh and compiled, co-ordinated and published an anthology in the middle of that and maintaining multiple, fabulous blogs.  My literary wonder women.  Her writing should most certainly be checked out - Older Mum in a Muddle.

 

One dear person in my life has created her own Pampered Chef emporium, oh as well as running an online wedding and events décor service - Pistachio Inc.

 

An old school friend started her own dress boutique, another a baking order service and another a craft site.  I wonder if there was something in the water where we lived that maybe enhanced the entrepreneurial gene?

 

 If so, where is mine.  I would like to do a lot of things but am finding with much frustration that I am failing miserably at doing something I used to be renowned for being good at.  Starting and FINISHING a job.  I seem to have lost the ability to see things through.  I have plenty of ideas, but feel I lack any substance right now. 

 

Plenty of ideas but not plenty of time.  That is what I have been telling myself.  But I look at all the wonderful things those amazing people around me are doing and I marvel.  You are finding the time and will power.  You all are truly fantastic.  I aspire to you all.

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week?

The time of the week for thinking about Reasons to be Cheerful with Mummy from the Heart is once again with us.  I am still minus my own laptop but thankfully have managed to procure a loaner for a couple of days so that is an instant #R2BC!

It has been surprising at how much not being able to write has frustrated me.  Not in the lack of time, I am used to that and know that as the children get older time will become available, but in the event I would have been able to sit down at the laptop and not being able to.

Anyway, I do have the power to 'power up' right now so am getting as much writing done as possible.  I am putting together posts in the hope of being able to get them scheduled to publish.  So on with my :

Reasons to be Cheerful.

* I got to spend quality time with my 18 month old nephew and then had a family filled Saturday.  Even my older nephew came to visit with his 'girlfriend' - this makes me feel very old, but she was lovely and what was even more lovely - he didn't change one single bit around her.

* On Saturday night, The Hubby, The Kids and I all got dressed up for Halloween and went to our friends party.  I was so pleased with all of our costumes and I forgot how much fun it was to get dressed up all silly for a night out.  Plus I loved my wig!

* On Sunday we asked J1 what he would like to do as a birthday treat and he picked Ten Pin Bowling.  This is an activity that we can all enjoy so it was lovely to make an afternoon of it. 

* On Monday my mum babysat J2 so that I could go and see to of my beautiful pregnant girlfriends whom I used to work with.  It has been far to long since our last catch up and they both looked stunning.

* On Tuesday we celebrated J1 turning nine years old.  He was unfortunately a little under the weather so couldn't go to school but we spent the day at home snuggling and reading his new books. 

* I am hoping to be able to go and visit one of my friends that has recently had their baby on Friday.  I am a little wary that as the boys have been poorly I might be due a dose, but fingers crossed I will be well enough.

* I am also hoping the same thing for Saturday because I am off to Mumsnet Blogfest I am super excited about this having enjoyed Britmums Live earlier this year.  I am really looking forward to seeing the fabulous girls and fellow bloggers I met in June that are also attending; Older Mum in a Muddle; Single, Older Mum and Mush Brain Ramblings.

With the conclusion of my positives for the week please head over and check out other cheery souls at Mummy from the Heart.

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week?

It is that time of the week once again to thrust out the negative and focus on the positive with Michelle at Mummy from the Heart for :

Reasons to be Cheerful (#R2BC)

This week has been pretty action packed so without further ado, this is what has made me Cheerful this week :

* I successfully completed The BUPA Great South Run.  10 miles on a chilly, but thankfully dry morning in Portsmouth.

* The Great South Run afforded The Hubby and I a rare weekend alone together.  We caught up, laughed, and had a lovely time just the two of us.

* It is Half Term, which although manic is a pleasure. 

* A friend has asked if I could do some social media volunteer work, for the charity GRACE, which I am really excited about.

* I have also been talking to the same friend about being involved with another exciting project, but details are still top secret at the moment.

* My Sister in Law is recovering at home from her massive surgery of last week so we went and collected my beautiful 18 month old nephew to look after for a few days, to ensure she has proper peace and quiet at home.  He is adorable and it is lovely to see him and J2 at the age where they can play nicely together.

* I managed to get an instalment of Camomile Crescent written and published within a week, rather than the usual two.  The mind is in overdrive of plot lines now, for that and some other WIP I have on the go.

* Lynsey The Mother Duck blog has received a record number of views for the month, which always thrills me.

If you want to know more about the Reasons to be Cheerful blog hop and would like to check out other cheerful bods, fly over to Mummy from the Heart.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

As I get more into 'this blogging life' (and yes, it does get really rather addictive) I am learning how to follow other peoples blogs and I feel much better for it.  Many bloggers, like myself, want to capture life and it's moments just as it is, honestly, with brutal truth many using the term 'to show parenting how it is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'.

So as I read more, I am finding blog a plenty of The Good, some of The Bad but few of The Ugly.  In a way this could be good, that people's lives don't often venture into The Bad or Ugly, but I looked at my own happy, upbeat blog and wondered if in actual fact we don't wish to admit to The Bad or Ugly within our lives because we don't want to be seen as 'failing' and by writing about the 'not so good days' would be doing just that.

Admitting that some days our manic, scheduled, packed out lives are not all 'on schedule' so to speak doesn't make us look like the coping with everything parent / wife / husband / person in general we wish to be seen as.

But I for one am looking for those blogs, so that on my own 'Bad Day' (and I admit sometimes Day turns into the plural) I don't feel like an incompetent, failing miserably mother / wife / housekeeper / daughter / friend etc.  I want to know that I am not the only person thinking 'If that baby screams one more time my head is going to explode all over these (need a fresh lick of paint - maybe in the next century) walls!

So, I will hold my hands up and say I haven't blogged for the last few days because I have been in a foul mood and when asked by my husband if I had blogged, after the (perfectly acceptable and real answer of 'I haven't had the time HAVE I!') I thought, no I haven't because I would blog the wrong negative things, but why would that be so bad, that would be an accurate reflection of real life at that time.

I don't mean I wish to rant or air my dirty laundry (hence why I am writing this now I am in a better mood) which is the danger when writing in full emotive mode, but I am supposed to be keeping a 'true and accurate record' (feel I should be saying 'now sign here please' after writing that) about my family life.  So here goes, the last few days I have been in a bad mood and here are the general reasons why :

J2 has been in complete 'toddler tantrum' mode and every 60-90 seconds lets rip a scream that I am, quite frankly, surprised leaves one single brick standing in our house.  Occasionally he will follow this up with throwing himself on the floor and banging his head (causing more screeching).

This in turn leads me to have to tell him off a million and one times a day (otherwise feels likes 'moaning' and is not pleasant and becomes a drag, even for the moaner).  This then makes my tolerance level lessened for other things that would usually only mildly irritate on a normal day, this then causes guilt, and no one likes that.

This all then turns into me being emotionally drained by 7pm, roughly when the hubby appears from work, not a good combination.  He wants happy emotion on his return home, rightly so, but this is seen by me as wanting something massive.  This leads to an immediate explosion of pent up frustration that because of constant attempts at stopping the screaming (every form of distraction method deployed, including ignoring, but there is only so much of that you can do when you are aware that the neighbours are trying to have their parents over for a nice garden lunch) nothing else you planned to try and do that day has been done, stuff is everywhere, you don't have content and happy children and basically you feel like a complete failure. 

The next day, when hubby hasn't done the washing up he promised to do while sending your grumpy butt off to bed the night before (his chance at a quiet, grump free hour before he starts another 12 hour day) instead of starting the day as you thought you would as you changed the first bum, peed and walked downstairs before you were hit with Hell's Kitchen) the black mood starts the day.

It's a vicious circle.  The kids feed off of your mood, the kids start whining the circle continues.  It happens.  To everyone.  Surely?  But I am not sure because we don't really like to talk about 'those days' only the one's where you either a) feel like or b) have been, superwomen.

So there you go, I have had not just one but a couple of those 'Bad and Ugly Days'.  Feeling perhaps a bit more help keeping on top of things wouldn't go a miss, that perhaps I might not make it through this toddler time with any sanity left, that maybe the kids and my husband deserve better than a grumpy, snappy 30 something.  But they are just that; a couple of bad days.  They pass.  They get forgotten.  We become superwomen / supermum / superwife / superdad (delete as appropriate) once more and write happy (and true) blogs, mostly from what I have found, being grateful for their lot in life.

But just for those parents having their own couple of 'Bad and Ugly' days - this one's for you.

The Kids, The Hubby and Me

A few friends have kindly suggested that I should perhaps do a blog with a little information (in an anonomous way of course) about those mentioned and written about in my blogs, namely my family and I.  They suggested that this may engage people a little more.  So here goes, this is a little character building blog about me and mine.

Me : Firstly there is 'Me' otherwise known as (yes you've guessed it) Lynsey (The Mother Duck).  A thirty something stay at home mum, who probably has more creativity in her than patience!  I have two gorgeous boys (J1 and J2 - I'll come on to them later in their very own little synopsis) who like any children run me ragged.  I am also a newly wed, to a fantastic man. 

I haven't always been a stay at home mum, no-no, this is all relatively new to me.  Prior to being a SAHM, I was a single mum and Head of Administration in a Interiors Fit Out company in London, all very fun while I had the energy to do it and only one child to sort out child care for.  After meeting my hubby and deciding to have a second baby, redundancy hit the city of Londres and I left the 'Big City' for seaside life and full time mother-dom.

Becoming a SAHM has taken a fair bit of adjusting to, and to be honest I had quite a gentle introduction into the world of being a full time mum.  I was pregnant with my second child, so just toted him around wherever I wanted to go with no fuss, no bother, no buggy, no baby bag, no bottle or toy - you know the jig - while my eldest was at school.  I was spoilt for time to myself and obviously realise now how I should have appreciated it just that little bit more, but having come from doing 12 hour days (including commute) and evenings and weekends with my son I just didn't know what to do with it, and found myself spending the first few days at the laptop because that was what I was used to doing at work.  

Being an administrator with that most annoying 'got to be organised' (lists, lists everywhere) trait, I decided I had to have a structured day, with all baby appointments dutifully put in the diary / on calendar / on outlook calendar, I set about filling up my time with lunch appointments, baby preparation and ... dom dom dom... crafts (I believe I actually handmade all my Christmas cards that year - oh to have the time to even write the pre-bought ones this year!)

Then as the pregnancy continued, the belly swelled and the sleepiness hit, most days 1pm - 2.50pm was nap time, where I was rudely awakened by the alarm notifying me to go and collect my son from school.  Then D - Day hit, J2 entered our lives and spare time has never existed since! 

I feel very fortunate at being in a position with my husband and family that I can be a SAHM, I didn't have that opportunity with my first baby and now I realise just what I missed out on.  As posted in my previous blog 'Just for the record' yes some days can be tiring and exhausting and frustrating, but they are still amazing days and I am thankful for everyone of them.

I have adjusted to life as a SAHM and realise that as well as being mummy and wife, I can also do a few other things of my own (they are last in the queue but I am learning to fit them in - like blogging!) so I am slowly finding a happy balance to feel a bit more all round satisfied with the day which makes me a bit less of a grumpy pants on days I feel I have done as much nappy changing, snack making, toy clearing as I can take.  A bit of me time I think they call it. 

Hubby : Hubby likes his privacy and anonominity, so we'll just say that he is also a thirty something newly wed, and a man who is amazing, hard working and could not be more dedicated to his family than he already is.  I love him and everything he stands for.

J1 : My first wonderful little boy who is 7.  J1 was born 8 weeks premature and as a consequence of a traumatic birth suffered brain damage and has been diagnosed with quadrapelgic cerebral palsy.  This basically means it affects all four of his limbs and his torso.  He can not walk or sit unaided, and is quite severely physically disabled, but since starting a amazing school has started to talk (sometimes he does not stop!) and can eat (and does heartily!).  J1 is quite passive in nature but cheeky to boot, he has hearing that is second to known (a.k.a doesn't miss a thing) but can get quite obsessive over things.

J2 : My second wonderful little boy who is 18 months.  Thankfully I went full term and he was born perfectly healthy.  He is such a large and colourful character with enough gusto to start a hurricane.  Strong in will and with a bucketful of stubborness J2 is the pinnicle of independence, but with this trait comes frustration and J2 is currently going through a phase of letting out a blood curling scream when he can't do something (apologies to the neighbours!).  He is developing at a rate of knots and he makes everyday a wonder and thing of amazement.  He is the most energetic toddler I know, and he reminds me of the energiser bunny, just keeps going and going and going, until he literally falls asleep playing (or being tinker).

So that is us.  That is what I write about and refer too in my little anetdotes, I hope this little insight will be helpful to anyone that gives my writing some time out of their day.  As always I only write with the hope of raising a smile and maybe making someone think, 'so glad it's not just me - that makes me feel better'!

The Very Busy Bank Holiday

Phew, just got five minutes to sit down with a cuppa by the lap-top so going to type until my little fingers fall off while J1 is having a stretch out / chill out / lazy five on his bed watching Peppa Pig and J2 is taking a nap!

I think both children are currently in re-coup mode after a very busy bank holiday weekend.  Well ours started a little early and was somewhat extended actually, as we had a full day out on Thursday at Marsh Farm for the Essex Police 4 x 4 Fun Day.  This is a fantastic day that is laid on very generously by the various forces that make up Essex Police in conjunction with Marsh Farm and is offered to children with disabilities in Essex schools.  We were lucky enough to go in 2009, on a scorcher of a day so was very pleased when we were allocated a place again this year.

Although the days weather forecast did not bode well we decided to give it a whirl anyway, on the basis that if we got rained on that much we would just come home, however, after the initial drenching (please see blog on The Great British Day Out for my thoughts and ramblings on this!) the sun peeped it's head through and graced us with it's presence for most of the day.  The beauty of this day out, is that along with great things for the children to see and do at the farm (as well as the animals, it has the best play area's indoor and out) the police have a whole extra field of stuff going on, from dress up tents, to being able to clamber around in the police vehicles and running 4x4 car trips all day, the kids truly were tuckered out, as was I actually.  It was one of those days out, where you come home and feel so grubby you are happy to shower no matter how tired you are and then feel all lovely when your clean PJ's go on.

Friday we were aiming for another full day out down the seaside whilst watching the Clacton Airshow.  However the weather was not so kind and with it being dreadful all around the country many of the scheduled flights couldn't even take off from whatever base they were at.  Alongside this was the very sad news that of course, the Red Arrows would not be displaying this year.  However I think that the organisers of the Airshow deserve great applause for the rescheduling and reorganising to get the 5 or 6 aircraft out that they did!  They really were up against it this year and I hope that people come back again next year, when surely it has to be a more successful day for them.  This was the day out however that we got absolutely drenched to the core and yes, much wheelchair and buggy dismantling and drying was required once we got home.

Saturday saw J1 very excitedly go to this first ever football match at Colchester United and I must express much appreciation to all of those involved at Col Utd in making his day such a special one.  After his grand tour, signed shirt presentation and meeting the players he enjoyed watching Colchester win 4-1 (I was warned however that if Jacob came home chanting a very naughty word that was shouted at the referee after a dubious decision that didn't go in Col U's favour, Grandad and Daddy could not be blamed!).

Sunday was painting day for me and some boy time for, well my boys!  Once that chore was done (as an aside here I have to say anti-splatter rollers are rubbish and a con, I could have passed for Smurfette had I donned a dress and white hat by the time I had finished - now back to the actual blog) a nice family late afternoon stroll to the Pier was had where I had to be mean mummy and say 'No we don't want to win a gold fish, and I mean NO' repeatedly.

Bank Holiday Monday was again another fun day out, at the Orsett Hall Family Fun Day.  We were in that neck of the woods visiting family and I am glad they suggested it, as I have to say fun it was!  For anyone with children between the ages of 4 and 12 it was absolutely jammed packed with entertainment.  The biggest entertainment of the day for me personally was watching Hubby and my oldest nephew attempting the 'surfing machine' and lasting for ohhh, all of 0.2 seconds!  It also had good food being cooked fresh, live music, beer stalls, craft stalls.  I think next year I may try and make it a big extended family day out and would highly recommend it.

Having looked back at all that activity it is little wonder that today the children are a little crabby, they must be exhausted!  However I hope that this bank holiday gave them as many happy memories to keep as it has me.  After all isn't that what bank holidays are for?

The Great British Day Out!

The month is August, J1 is on school holidays and it's time for those lovely summer days out.  But this is Britain, and what does that mean?  You have a day out arranged or an event to go to then be prepare to get...S.O.A.K.E.D!

Yes, many a day trip out to the seaside was had in my childhood and the photographs are generally of us sitting huddled as close as our deckchairs would allow, beach towels wrapped tightly round our shoulders, hair all blown wildly in a left or right direction, squinting at the camera as the sand whipped in our eyes.  Those are the memories and they are happy, nostalgic ones.

Hence why I insist on inflicting the same memory building experiences on to my own children!  The plan usually goes something like this; I write on the calendar that we are having a lovely family day out, prior to the day out I go and buy all the food for the picnic and then dutifully make the picnic lunch and pack it all up in picnic bag with heavy but essential cool packs.  Get the children dressed in as matching outfits as I can find (yes I am a matching dresser mother and for this I do not apologise!), pack stuff for heatwave and monsoon.

The drive to the venue usually lavishes you with sunshine, it buoys your spirits and assists the car singing to reach new decibels, then as the venue approaches generally the clouds start to gather... all sounding familiar?  By the time parking has occurred a few spots of rain usually make an appearance causing the 'do we need wet stuff?' debate to reach a swift conclusion of 'Aye'.

However once in the queue to enter wherever you attempted to ascend for the day, the sun is back out, the kids moan they are hot and you start sweating out profusely in your wet coat, causing the first strip [of many] of the day to happen.  At some point throughout the day I end up thinking 'Oh my god, we are burning' and chase everyone (including hubby) around trying to smother them in sunscreen (I love it, the smell always evokes so many holidays memories, I don't understand why they are all itching to be caked in it).

Sometimes we have been lucky and only the threat of a soaking ever comes to fruition, however, more often than not in the true sense of a bad British comedy, you end up getting ... drenched!  The rain comes so suddenly and so hard and fast that you haven't had time to prepare, so you look to the sky, look at the 5 bags of wet covers, coats, umbrella's longingly and just leg it, but the shelters are already all full and people look at you with a mixture of pity and smugness as every bit of rain from the sky seems to hit you and your brood.  After just a few seconds you and 90% of the population of wherever you are come to the same inevitable conclusion :

This is Britain.  We are British.  We get wet and are proud!

With noses pushed into the air, we continue our day out like it's dry and sunny.  We carry on our conversations with water dripping off of our eyelashes.  We secretly think, 'That buggies going to take ages to dry and the car is going to smell like wet dog by the time we get home' but we don't let on.  We laugh (the heavier the rain the louder the laughter I find) and we say 'Well that's a typical British Summer Day Out!' and bank it in our store of happy memories.

The Week of Appreciation

Over the last few days, via the wonder that is technology I have seen several of my friends announce pure, heartfelt, unconstrained, real statements of appreciation for those in their lives. 

One friend likened her life to a fantastic dream where she was in love with the most amazing person in the world, but when she woke up, she realised that the dream was real and the amazing thing she had was true.

Another friend announced unadulterated awe at the wonder of her daughter and stated that not only was she blessed with a beautiful child but she was also blessed to have the most wonderful parents herself.

Another kindly sent a text this morning to say thank you for supporting them through a particularly tough year, which was very touching.

Having been touched by being on the receiving end of appreciation today and being moved by the statements of others this last week I think that this seems to be the week for appreciation.  So I have some appreciating to do of my own.

I say thank you to my own family and friends for always being around, to help, laugh, chat, rant and share.  To my children who's daily trials and tribulations make life worth living.  To my husband who provides love, support and laughter with a vigour I have never met in any other and makes it possible for me to be at home with the children watching them grow up by the second.  To my immediate family who are funny, supportive and very rarely crazy!

And to my friends, who thanks to unnamed networking sites and the power of the text message I can keep in touch with and who provide me with inspiration, humour, friendship and plenty of blogging (and hopefully eventually storylines) fodder!

Without all of you life wouldn't be the amazing thing that it is.  

And Then The Rain Came

I love the Summer.  I am not a cold weather girl.  Fact.  Never have been and never will be.  And this quality of mine has only grown in strength since having children.  I'll tell you for why :

In the dry, warmer weather you can throw open the back door / patio door / conservatory door, whichever you have and let that lovely air wade through, and if your children are anything like mine, they see an escape route out into freedom (well the garden) and charge towards it.

That fact alone is worth its weight in gold.  The children are out of the house, in the fresh air (the good old sea air for mine) and what does fresh air do?  At first, I admit it makes them a bit hyper but; it tires them out.  It tires them out like nothing else can seem to do and I love that fact.  Almost as much as I love shoes.

But alas, we live in good old Blighty and consistent and reliable weather is just one field that we are never going to win a gold medal in.  Thus I am a bit of a fanatic about getting the kids out into the air for as long as physically possible on nice days and why I have allowed the back garden to become a mini playground (i.e no plants or lovely items that can be destroyed by footballs) with the latest installment being a trampoline.

The kids love it.  I love it.  And we were loving it very much weather wise up to today 'when the rain came' and the realisation struck me that today was a 'mummy and boys only day' and I was going to be confined to the house all day, all alone.

Once the first few moments of irrational fear passed I had to get out the 'Entertainment Committee' hat.  Now if I had boys, closer in age and both able bodied then finding a day of activities would be easi-er.  But unfortunately that is not the case.  J1, my eldest wants to put everything to his mouth and has to be watched like a hawk with any toy that is given to him and is wheelchair confined, J2, my toddler currently has the attention span of a fruit bat.  I was up against it.  Especially as I hate the TV being on throughout the day and the idea of sitting on the Wii in the summer fills me with unwarranted rage.  We were going to P.L.A.Y.

Like any stay at home parent, I came out fighting.  Remembering all those useful articles from baby and toddler magazines and netmum's.com I decided to crack out all my old CD's and create a mini-disco with snack time being incorporated to look like a mini-buffet.  We pulled out old photo boxes (probably more fun for me!).  We dug out all Jacob's old favourite books that had since been deemed no longer favourite and relegated to the back of the wardrobe and it was like producing a library for him.  We pulled out toys that were bought last Christmas that were played to death for the first two months and then put in drawers, wardrobes, tidy boxes.  But the favourite thing of the day for them both, was finding a large pack of stickers and sticking them all over each other, for some reason this made them laugh the most.  I don't know why and I don't care, it just did!

So at the end of this rainy day what have I achieved.  Well no housework got done, no washing got hung out, no phone calls got made or filing put away, however I type this blog fully satisfied.  I spent the day playing and giving my children good quality old fashioned time, which I, as I imagine for any parent, can sometimes get lost in the 'need to just get this / that / the other done'.

Now I am not relishing the thought of the winter months, and cold or not if it's dry then outside time for that blessed fresh air will be had (I don't want my kids to have the same dislikes as me!) but in the deep of winter, in rain or snowy climate, if we do have an indoor day I am no longer scared of it.  We proved today that we can have immense fun without the need for the TV or a computer or going out.  And I don't know about the kids, but it sure wore me out!

* Any idea's for 'rainy day activities' that would be suitable for a wheelchair bound child and toddler would be greatly appreciated! *

Just for the Record

I wanted to pen this blog early on, because as I have started to note down some topic ideas in my journal over the last few days, I realised that my sense of humour (which i hope may reveal itself during these blogs) may be seen as 'complaining'. 

So, in line with the title of this blog : just for the record I am never complaining about my life or the choices I have made.  I might not appreciate Cherub No.2 tipping the whole watering-can over himself when he is in his best white shirt ready to go out (yes, that was today's reason for the third change of clothing before mid-day) and write a sarky comment about it that I feel is amusing, but that is not a complaint.  I dutifully congratulated him on his reaching abilities and strength to hold the 6 litre vessel, and changed him.  That is what I do.  I am mum.

But sometimes I may feel like writing about what other things I would like to do, or aspire to do that I don't currently get to do, because I am being mum.  So in those cases just for the record I am never complaining.  Sometimes I may just be dreaming or planning ahead five years when both little Cherub's will be at school and I might finally get the chance to pee in private.  And yes some days I just want to get a big whiteboard and count down those days.  Others I want to cry because they are coming to fast. 

Being mum to the two children that I have been blessed with (please note : I am not religious but do feel very blessed, lucky and appreciative of being given the opportunity to have carried two babies and have them both with me now, considering my first was 8 weeks early and has suffered some problems due to that) can be very challenging. But I believe the more challenging they make it the more alive I feel and the more magical all those other sweet, funny, unbelievable and unique moments become. 

On a rare moment of getting the chance to watch TV I once heard someone make the statement that 'you only get your kids for 16 years, then they can be out of your life if they choose'.  16 years is not a long time in the scheme of life.  So although from time to time a rant might make its way out of one of these blogs if there has been a particularly long day of crying, demanding and not a second to step out of 'being mum' - which some days can be like that and are d.r.a.i.n.i.n.g for any human-being just for the record I am not complaining.  Because even at the end of those days, when the kitchen is closed, the washing up done, the packed lunch for school the next day made and although you are ready to collapse into bed - you look at those little sleeping faces and melt.  Then the next day is all brand new.  Tantrums of days past are forgotten.  Time out's, naughty step sessions (haha yeah right, does your child actually sit on the step?) and 'No more treats for you today young man' are wiped clean and most of the time they get up like different children (thank god!).

So just to reiterate, even on the worst days of parenthood that I might mention as being not very nice to endure; I am not complaining.  I am merely sharing the fact that me and mine have those days and I am aiming to give hope (and a laugh) to anyone that reads it and thinks, thank god it isn't just me!

A blog is born...

I had coffee (yes an actual sit down with hot liquid for half an hour - l.u.x.u.r.y!) with a friend that I haven't seen for a while a few weeks ago and in the midst of catching up she told me that although we hadn't been in touch for some time had been watching me from afar.  What she said next made me waste (a rather overpriced I must say) mouthful of caffine when I spat in out in what I can only say was shock mixed with laughing until hysteria set in. 

She said that she didn't know how I did it. 

What? I asked a little perplexed. 

She replied 'Make it look so effortless, you are always upbeat and energetic, out and about with the children, been here and there, done this and that, you keep your weight down and look well turned out.  It's actually really annoying.'  I sat dumbfounded for sometime, thinking about what she said, cleaning up the coffee and decided to shattered the clear illusion she had of my life.

I explained that the day starts at about 5am when my eldest little cherub decides that it is time to be wide awake, and after the first round of changing and Peppa Pig I make very strong filter coffee to kickstart the day and try and get any tidying up done before Cherub No. 2 opens his eyes and starts his wake of destruction (I am hoping it is an 18 month old thing!). 

Then breakfast (or any snack / drink / meal) is made with a screaming toddler attached to my leg, but you learn to perservere and get it done anyway.  I then have about 10 minutes of quiet while aforementioned snack / drink / meal is devoured before the 'Entertainment Committee' i.e. Me is called upon again.  If I attempt to wash up again it is done with screaming toddler attached to leg.

A day when we get out is a luxury, otherwise it consists of 18 hours of chasing around after a very energetic and stubborn toddler, trying to clear up (which to be honest in the school holidays is like trying to put out a forest fire with a water pistol) and answering the same question (question of the week we like to call it) repeatedly with my eldest.

Now, I have had 18 months to perfect the '30 seconds allowed to wash and dress' rule and once you master it, it's pretty simple.  Staple items such as jeans, vests and flip flops you can't go wrong with.  Plus I have long hair that every single day gets scraped up into a messy knot (no time for brushing it, let along washing it btw), luckily this seems to be passing for 'trendy' this season.  As for the weight, my buttocks don't grace a seat from 5am - 8pm so that has probably got that one sown up!

Well she said, your a bit like a duck aren't you, gliding along, breeze gently ruffling your feathers to the outside world, but underneath you are busy paddling like a crazy person!  I told her she should see the sweating mess that passes for me after chasing the youngest around my house trying to dress him in the mornings!

After we laughed and I left for my apparent perfect existance that never was, I thought that I might try and start documenting life as I know it, so that the children when they are older have a 'novel of childhood' to remember and perhaps see it from my eyes, which you can never do until you have children of your own!

And so Lynsey The Mother Duck was born.