Favourite Posts of the Last 12 Months - No.3

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From October 2011 Archives

Remember Remember...

My Dear Friend, Mrs B-R,

Sometime ago you asked me to remind you of something. You said, 'Make me remember, make me remember!'

So, here goes.

Remember remember, no not the fifth of November (although I will because I was waiting to go down to theatre to deliver J1 and could hear but not see all the fireworks going off...) but .... the blood, sweat and tears of... looking after a toddler!

Yes, Dear Mrs B-R, you are broody, just as your own little cherubs have hit that (well the youngest) glorious age of 3, when it all seems to get just that little bit easier. Yes, you have once again come to that 3 year itch and are thinking about scratching it. So when my visit with my own little red-headed fire-starter still didn't put you off (he was being VERY good, not a normal occurrence to be honest) you said, you must remind me how hard it is.

So, for your benefit, or for anyone who has the '3 year itch' that occurs with the cycle of children (I think it tends to be 3 years or 5 years, when they have gone to nursery or school) here is my brutal version of the reality of toddler-hood (yes the female mind has a habit of blocking all of this out when one gets broody, like the pain of the birth) :

1. Unless you are lucky, prepare yourself for at least three years of NO sleep. Or worse than NO sleep, broken sleep. Waiting for bottles to warm at 3am that seem to take forever, or getting them to latch on in the wee hours can make you want to scream because all you want to do is snug your head into that lovely warm squishy pillow. Or if Iike me you tolerated that part well because, you were prepared for it, the tolerance lessens when two years later you are still getting up to top up cups and change soaking nappies, beds etc.

2. Also remember when going to the bathroom was accompanied by a little person trying to climb into the toilet? Whilst pulling out the toilet brush and flicking the water everywhere and running away with the toilet roll (NO my holder does NOT attach to the wall).  Pulling out all of the toiletries, even when you think you have found a cupboard they can not get into, which results in everything being put up loose on any available high surface thus creating :

3. Bombsite. Your house. All the time. Remember when J2 came round and systematically destroyed every room? The pot pourri came off the side all over the floor.  The remote controls became a battle ground (and I am pretty sure he did something drastic to the SKY box).  Mango was transferred from bowl to the lovely rug... the wooden box got sat on and broken (oh no, sorry that was my husband not child...).

4. Carseats. Prams / Buggies. Highchairs. Plastic bowls and cutlery. Sippy cups (non spill, yeah right they find a way) have to be taken even on half hour visits to see people.  Or in actual fact, just generally when you go anywhere. Then you normally end up spending more time getting ready to go out than at the actual location because of :

5. Toddler tantrums.  Although these do still attack at the three year old stage, they generally have calmed down a little and don't happen everytime you attempt to go out in public. Supermarket, coffee shop, in fact anywhere enclosed where you can practically be marched out by the venomous stares of all other patrons, daggers, stabbing pain in back, whilst dropping all equipment mentioned in point number four...stuttering 'Ohhh does someone need a little sleep?'

6. Personal Hygiene, do not expect to have any for at least two years.  You will be lucky to get a 30 second shower let alone apply deodorant, perfume, body lotion, shave your legs (well shave anything actually), wash your hair or apply make up (or pick out anything that matches clothes wise) which moves us nicely onto ...

7. All clothes will look like screwed up dish rags, for the whole family, because you no longer have the opportunity to iron.  Remeber it's too dangerous to even look at the ironing with toddler attached to your leg (probably screaming because you dare to have taken attention off of them for one solitary second).

8. Remember all those lovely soggy, unidentifiable objects you were forced to eat because your toddler lovingly brought them to you to feed you? Yep, you'll have to do that.  All- over - again.

9. Oven food or cereal it's all you will have time for, I'm sure you'll go back to loving it. Some of it's lovely, honest...

10. What you are wearing now will be what you are wearing for many years.  You will not get over the feeling that the baby needs something more than you because they grow so quickly and have a way of destroying clothing that even army recruits would marvel at.

So, Dear Mrs B-R, I hope that this little reminder has served it's purpose.  But please remember you asked, no practically begged me to do it. Also it'll make my hubby and anyone with a current toddler laugh, unless they have one of the (whispers) 'angel types'.

You and I don't get those types (J2 and Little A, made of the same cloth), whoever dished out characters in children must have looked at us and said 'they are strong enough for a challenge'.

Now, for this information to really take effect you must not do the following things :

1. Think back to how a new baby smells and the fact that they sleep for about 16 hours a day until they are 3 months.

2. Picture what all the little baby grows, newborn vests and booties looked like hanging out on the line.

3. How a baby moving in your tummy feels and how lovely it is getting lots of extra attention for 9 months.

4. How in the evening when you are giving your kids a cuddle goodnight they snuggle in and look at you and their eyes say 'I am Safe'.

5. And definitely do not go and look at your children sleeping soundly and beautifully in their beds... I said don't do it... you went and did it didn't you?  Then I can't help you, that'll win every time...

I think I may have stamped on the point of this blog post with the last 5 items? Oh well, you go through it all again and then you will be able to provide me with blog fodder when my little man has turned into grown up (3+) child. 

Why don't I have another you ask? Oh no no, I am still in the midst of 1-10 thank you very much, no more for me!

And just one more thing, for anyone who thinks I may have been complaining about life with a toddler please read 'Just for the Record'

Best Wishes

Lynsey, The Mother Duck



No, Urgh, Yuk!

Every parent has days where they find their children hard work.  Children are prone / entitled to off days as much as adults and on those days they are hard work.

Then there is Toddler hood. 

I didn't really ever experience 'Toddlerhood' with J1.  He had his moments, don't get me wrong but they were few and far between.  But this J2 character, wow, he is certainly making sure that I get the full on bafter of 'The Wrath of Toddlerhood'.

Everything you can every think of in a cliche to do with 'The Terrible Two's' J2 is giving us right now and I am wondering if I am actually going to make it through it.  If I do, I fear at the end of the next year or two I may; run out of voice due to the constant use of it to check / discipline / negotiate with J2; hair due to the amount of time I spend putting my head in my hands and counting to 10; teeth due to the amount of head butts I get whilst J2 has tantrums over anything and everything.

The main frustrations at the moment are the constant battles.  In true Toddler style, he doesn't want to bath / get dressed / brush his teeth.  If we want to go out in the car he says buggy.  If we want to go out with the buggy he says walk.  If we want to walk he says carry.  He doesn't want to go in the car seat, but when we want to get him out the other end, he wants to stay in.  Then when we finally get him out, he doesn't want to go in the house. 

Then when we are in the house starts the Peppa Pig obsession.  He literally wants it on all the time and when it's not on he stands at our legs crying and whining and trying to drag us to the TV to put it on / change whatever is on to put it on.  Even when he has had a good dose of PP and is bored of it (cue more whining regarding what episode is on - the sign it's certainly time to go off) he repeats the words again and again and again ...

Then we have the current 'most grating' thing.  Everytime we sit down to eat 'No, Urgh, Yuk!'  The more amusing side to this is he also says it whenever someone gives him a kiss!  But where oh where has he learnt it? 

Now I am all for children having some determination and go in them, but this current phase, is just plain hard work.  To the point where the only appealing thing for us to do is to stay home, leave him in his PJ's and turn the house into Peppa Pig world.  I think that would be pure heaven in J2's world. 

Alas with this not being possible, I get through the day by praying that this phase will be a short one, working on a stack of distraction methods and live for those wonderful days where I see my other 'Mummy' friends and they say 'Oh my god, we are going through exactly the same thing at the moment, doesn't it drive you nuts!' and those even more wonderful days where I see other Mummy friends who can say 'We went through that phase, they do grow out of it.' 

And on to those words I cling with hope.

Now I have to go...to find another Peppa Pig DVD to put on...

Toddlerhood

It is my belief that Toddler-hood should come with a public health warning.  It raises your stress levels to dangerously high peaks and can leave you physically and mentally drained, thus a danger to anyone who may throw you either a disgusted look or pity look in public, as your toddler goes into rigid ironing board mode, whilst screaming so hard they turn purple as you simply try to get them back into the buggy. 

I say this, because we have now hit, full on Terrible Two's with J2.  And despite J2 being baby number 2, this is all new to me.  I obviously lucked out like I could never imagine with J1, because (despite his disabilities), J1 never really went through 'Paddy Power Phase'.  Although J1 could not do the physical battles with Mummy, he could have been an uncontent shopper / restaurant baby, but he never was and I now realise that was grossly under appreciated by me.  In fact, I used to be the smug one in the Cafe, sitting with the happy, angelic child who was happy just sitting and taking in the world going by with a snack and cup of juice (or ruddy great hot chocolate with whipped cream on top if we are honest...) whilst harassed, hot and bothered mums used to leave hurriedly with a screaming tot in tow.

I am not saying that J2 is like that all of the time, of course not.  On occasion he is one of the well behaved children in a buggy.  But these particular 'toddler era' days are quite rare.  Luckily he tends to be a lot better behaved for other people than for me, but I think this is common of most children.  I had the opposite with J1, unless I was leaving him with my parents he would create merry hell, so at least I do not have that same separation anxiety with No.2.  He is in fact more than happy to wave me off goodbye if he has toys and attention going on.

However, it is all part of Motherhood, or actually Parenthood, as my Husband does get to see the problems that occur on a daily basis at the weekend and with all other 'difficult phases' ie. from struggling to breastfeed to not being able to keep your eyes open past 8pm because you are awake every hour attempting to feed, or your baby crying when s/he has to start going to a child minder or day nursery when maternity leave runs out, somehow you get through it (or so I am assuming, I am still amidst the throngs of 'Toddlerhood' but am hoping this is a safe guess).

By my goodness, it is tough.  Especially with J2.  This boy is the epitome of stubborn.  It is like the gene pool yanked out the DNA strand of my stubbornness with my husbands strand of spontaneous and it mutated into J2.  That said, he does make for kid that knows his mind, he understands when to be helpful and when to stand his ground and that I am glad to see in any child of mine.  I should have perhaps given 'Nanny' some warning of this however, when she decided to take him to the Park this week. 

I got a [rather amusing] text from her saying that they were having a lovely time at the Park until 'Thomas' age 3 arrived.  Then the 'Summers' competitive streak was unleashed in thy child and anything 'Thomas' attempted to get to he was gazumped by J2.  J2 thought that this was brilliant.  'Thomas' did not and in the end, just to give the poor kid a break mum exited the offending area with the promise of feeding the 'Ducks' (they are actually Seagulls that I am referring too, but at the moment all flying objects in the sky are 'Ducks').

I wasn't sure if I should be worried, that perhaps J2 had terrorised poor 'Thomas' but mum assured me that 'Thomas' quite liked the chasing around part and then I felt quite proud.  Proud that my little 'Terrible Two' could interact with another child at such a young age.  Again, this is all new to me as J1 did not interact at all well with any children until he went to school. 

It never fails to amaze me how 'chalk and cheese' my two children are, but I will say that with J2 being quite so 'spunky' it has forced J1 to be a bit more so too, which I do think is a good thing.  J1 now does have to raise his voice to call and ask for what he wants, but equally he has had to learn that he can not have his own way all the time.

Toddler-hood is a massive learning period for the child.  Like a sponge they are soaking up so many different things every second of every day, and right now I feel like I am too.

Remember Remember...

My Dear Friend, Mrs B-R,

Sometime ago you asked me to remind you of something.  You said, 'Make me remember, make me remember!'

So, here goes.

Remember remember, no not the fifth of November (although I will because I was waiting to go down to theatre to deliver J1 and could hear but not see all the fireworks going off...) but .... the blood, sweat and tears of... looking after a toddler!

Yes, Dear Mrs B-R, you are broody, just as your own little cherubs have hit that (well the youngest) glorious age of 3, when it all seems to get just that little bit easier.  Yes, you have once again come to that 3 year itch and are thinking about scratching it.  So when my visit with my own little red-headed fire-starter still didn't put you off (he was being VERY good, not a normal occurrence to be honest) you said, you must remind me how hard it is.

So, for your benefit, or for anyone who has the '3 year itch' that occurs with the cycle of children (I think it tends to be 3 years or 5 years, when they have gone to nursery or school) here is my brutal version of the reality of toddler-hood (yes the female mind has a habit of blocking all of this out when one gets broody, like the pain of the birth) :

1. Unless you are lucky, prepare yourself for at least three years of NO sleep.  Or worse than NO sleep, broken sleep.  Waiting for bottles to warm at 3am seem to take forever, or getting them to latch on in the wee hours can make you want to scream because all you want to do is snug your head into that lovely warm squishy pillow.  Or if Iike me you tolerated that part well because, you were prepared for it, the tolerance lessens when two years later you are still getting up to top up cups and change soaking nappies, beds etc.

2. Also remember when going to the bathroom was accompanied by a little person trying to climb into the toilet? Whilst pulling out the toilet brush and flicking the water everywhere, running away with the toilet roll (NO my holder does NOT attach to the wall), pulling out all of the toiletries, even when you think you have found a cupboard they can not get into, which results in everything being put up loose on any available high surface thus creating :

3. Bombsite, your house, all the time.  Remember when J2 came round and systematically destroyed every room?  The pot pourri came off the side all over the floor, the remote controls became a battle ground (and I am pretty sure he did something drastic to the SKY), mango was transferred from bowl to the lovely rug... the wooden box got sat on and broken (oh no, sorry that was my husband not child...)

4. Carseats, Prams / Buggies, Highchairs, Plastic bowls and cutlery, sippy cups (non spill, yeah right they find a way) have to be taken even on half hour visits to see people or just generally when you go anywhere, and then you normally end up spending more time getting ready to go out than at the actual location because of :

5. Toddler tantrums - although these do still attack at the 3 year old stage, they generally have calmed down a little and don't happen everytime you attempt to go out in public (supermarket, coffee shop, in fact anywhere enclosed where you can practically be marched out by the venomous stares of all other patrons, daggers, stabbing pain in back, whilst dropping all equipment mentioned in point number 4...stuttering 'Ohhh does someone need a little sleep?')

6. Personal Hygiene, do not expect to have any for at least 2 years, you are lucky to get a 30 second shower let alone apply deodorant, perfume, body lotion, shave your legs (well shave anything actually), wash your hair or apply make up (or pick out anything that matches clothes wise) which moves us nicely onto ...

7. All clothes will look like screwed up dish rags, for the whole family, because you no longer have the opportunity to iron, too dangerous with toddler attached to your leg (probably screaming because you dare to have taken attention off of them for one solitary second)

8. Remember all those lovely soggy, unidentifiable objects you were forced to eat because your toddler lovingly brought them to you to feed you?  Yep, you'll have to do that all - over - again

9. Oven food or cereal it's all you will have time for, I'm sure you'll go back to loving it.  Some of it's lovely, honest...

10. What you are wearing now will be what you are wearing for many years because you will not get over the feeling that the baby needs something more than you because they grow so quickly (although luckily for me my hubby usually over- rules this and buys it for me... never a complaint from me because then it's a gift and it would be rude to not accept a gift!)

So, Dear Mrs B-R, I hope that this little reminder has served it's purpose and remember you ASKED, no practically BEGGED me to do it.  Also it'll make my hubby and anyone with a current toddler laugh, unless they have one of the (whispers) 'angel types'.  You and I don't get those types (J2 and Little A, made of the same cloth!), whoever dished out characters in children must have looked at us and said 'they are strong enough for a challenge'.

Now, for this information to really take effect you must not do the following things :

1. Think back to how a new baby smells and the fact that they sleep for about 16 hours a day until they are 3 months

2. Picture what all the little baby grows, newborn vests and booties looked like hanging out on the line

3. How a baby moving in your tummy feels and how nice it is getting lots of extra attention for 9 months

4. How in the evening when you are giving your kids a cuddle goodnight they snuggle in and look at you and their eyes say 'I am Safe'

5. And definitely do not go and look at your children sleeping soundly and beautifully in their beds... I said don't do it... you went and did it didn't you, then I can't help you, that'll win every time...

I think I may have stamped on the point of this blog post with the last 5 items?  Oh well, you go through it all again and then you will be able to provide me with blog fodder, when my little man has turned into grown up (3+) child.  Why don't I have another?  Oh no no, I am still in the midst of 1-10 thank you very much, no more for me!

And just one more thing, for anyone who thinks I may have been complaining about life with a toddler please read 'Just for the Record'

Best Wishes

Lynsey, The Mother Duck

B is for ... Baby Babble, Bottles and Bond... James Bond... (Wordy Wednesday)

I can hardly believe that it is Wordy Wednesday already.  Half the working week (well for people that go 'out' to work it is, for SAHM add the weekend into that 'working week') has passed and the bubbles of excitement that 'Thursday tomorrow' thoughts bring are starting to form.  For me and most SAHM (or Dads) it brings the 'Thursday tomorrow, two more days and Daddy/Mummy is home to help entertain while I pee in private' excitement.

The things I have to be 'Wordy' on this 'Wednesday' (ahh see what I did there...) about all begin with the letter... B.  What?  Not surprised?  Ah damn it, the title of the post gave it away didn't it?  Anyway, let's begin :

Baby Babble.  Oh my gosh, this is the cutest, yet most frustrating, baby phase that I have come up against yet.  To be fair, with waiting five years for J1 to start to talk (and it still makes me smile to this day, almost every word that leaves his mouth - as long as it's not done in 'whine' tone, where the pitch goes up so high only dogs on our street can hear) I thought I had been up against some frustration.

Now J2 is quite articulate in his gestures and getting his point across.  I am assuming for 18 months he is doing just fine with his speech and language (although J2 is baby number 2, I have no benchmarks from the same ages for J1 so this is all brand new to me).  He has a handful of very clear one letter words; 'Car' (usually with one car in hand, my car key in the other and a trail of destruction of cars trailing whatever route around the house he has taken).  'Bub-bils' (Bubbles, a favourite of both kids and myself, never too old for bubbles!).  'Juice' / 'Cheese' (no explanation required).  'Garsses' (glasses, usually being brought to me in two, or with an arm missing).  But just recently he has taken to coming very excitedly to me and 'Dush beba um natakiwa'

WHAT? 

How am I meant to decipher that?  And then he'll repeat it (in true Brit style, no different just louder).  I again look at him slowly shaking my head in confusion, mouth slightly open in the hope that the words will float through the air, jump into my mouth, reformulate into something I can understand and we can move on.  He says it a third and final time to which I have to say (in full patronising tone) 'YYYYYYYYYYYYeeeeessss, very good' in the hope that being positive will placate him.

Usually he then toddles off and I feel like a complete failure.  Occasionally the Hubby will look at me in the same confusion and note that he didn't have a clue either.  I make myself feel better by deducing that whatever it was either wasn't life threatening or changing because generally if it is something he really wants he takes my hand and drags me along (usually to the scene of the crime, wet patch on floor, toy broken in two etc...). 

Occasionally however, he will get as frustrated with me as I am with myself and has suddenly developed the (rather amusing) over dramatic (J2, over dramatic?  Never, I hear you say...) throwing himself on the floor and doing  'James Bond' style roll.  I am quite impressed, sometimes he can do three full rotations with the gusto that he gives it.  If he has his Bottle in hand he can look quite authentic!  And thus we move on to the issue of 'The Bottle'.

It's a big raging debate isn't it, that everyone seems to have an opinion on.  When should a baby / toddler / small child stop having a bottle?  Some say at a year old when they 'should stop having formula'.  Some say it's terrible for their teeth.  Some say why take away the only article that will calm your child down.  

I was lucky with J1, despite all of his problems he moved seamlessly from bottle to cup when he was a year old.  He really didn't mind (he did have a dummy mind you).  J2 on the other hand is less than keen.  But, J2 being 18 months now has a good set of gnashers and has taken to biting the teats and splitting massive hole in them, which mean they leak.  Everywhere.  Or of course, biting the ends right off.  Dangerous. 

A friend of mine has been having the same problem.  Her little boy is 2 and she decided the other day, after loss of another set of teats, that he was going to have to go 'Cold Turkey' and she would brave it out.  She has been pleasantly surprised by the lack of meltdowns over the statement 'No bottle, cup'.  I have decided that I will not be purchasing any new teats, so when the last few have gone that is it, and hoping that the introduction of a range of other cups (who knew there were so many though, talk about confusing there are more shapes, sizes, colours and textures than in a condom range!) will have sufficiently taken over.  If not I will be the one having the meltdown. 

My point on this is that everyone believes in and deals with the situation with their own child in a different way.  I was enjoying a day on the beach the other week with J2 and he had a bottle with his snack.  The man on the next beach mat, who had a similar aged child felt need to comment very loudly 'Look at that kid still having a bottle!  Little Archie doesn't still have a bottle, got rid of that ages ago' to his wife (who did look suitably mortified by the way). 

But, by the rules of parenting, I wanted to punch him full on in the face.  I wanted to say that from observing 'Little Archie' I was glad that my little J2 had a bottle over being a whining 'wouldn't go on the sand, wouldn't go in the water, wouldn't lick around the edge of the ice-cream' child.  But I kept that thought to myself.  Like he should of his.

Wow, that was a very Wordy Wednesday!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

As I get more into 'this blogging life' (and yes, it does get really rather addictive) I am learning how to follow other peoples blogs and I feel much better for it.  Many bloggers, like myself, want to capture life and it's moments just as it is, honestly, with brutal truth many using the term 'to show parenting how it is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'.

So as I read more, I am finding blog a plenty of The Good, some of The Bad but few of The Ugly.  In a way this could be good, that people's lives don't often venture into The Bad or Ugly, but I looked at my own happy, upbeat blog and wondered if in actual fact we don't wish to admit to The Bad or Ugly within our lives because we don't want to be seen as 'failing' and by writing about the 'not so good days' would be doing just that.

Admitting that some days our manic, scheduled, packed out lives are not all 'on schedule' so to speak doesn't make us look like the coping with everything parent / wife / husband / person in general we wish to be seen as.

But I for one am looking for those blogs, so that on my own 'Bad Day' (and I admit sometimes Day turns into the plural) I don't feel like an incompetent, failing miserably mother / wife / housekeeper / daughter / friend etc.  I want to know that I am not the only person thinking 'If that baby screams one more time my head is going to explode all over these (need a fresh lick of paint - maybe in the next century) walls!

So, I will hold my hands up and say I haven't blogged for the last few days because I have been in a foul mood and when asked by my husband if I had blogged, after the (perfectly acceptable and real answer of 'I haven't had the time HAVE I!') I thought, no I haven't because I would blog the wrong negative things, but why would that be so bad, that would be an accurate reflection of real life at that time.

I don't mean I wish to rant or air my dirty laundry (hence why I am writing this now I am in a better mood) which is the danger when writing in full emotive mode, but I am supposed to be keeping a 'true and accurate record' (feel I should be saying 'now sign here please' after writing that) about my family life.  So here goes, the last few days I have been in a bad mood and here are the general reasons why :

J2 has been in complete 'toddler tantrum' mode and every 60-90 seconds lets rip a scream that I am, quite frankly, surprised leaves one single brick standing in our house.  Occasionally he will follow this up with throwing himself on the floor and banging his head (causing more screeching).

This in turn leads me to have to tell him off a million and one times a day (otherwise feels likes 'moaning' and is not pleasant and becomes a drag, even for the moaner).  This then makes my tolerance level lessened for other things that would usually only mildly irritate on a normal day, this then causes guilt, and no one likes that.

This all then turns into me being emotionally drained by 7pm, roughly when the hubby appears from work, not a good combination.  He wants happy emotion on his return home, rightly so, but this is seen by me as wanting something massive.  This leads to an immediate explosion of pent up frustration that because of constant attempts at stopping the screaming (every form of distraction method deployed, including ignoring, but there is only so much of that you can do when you are aware that the neighbours are trying to have their parents over for a nice garden lunch) nothing else you planned to try and do that day has been done, stuff is everywhere, you don't have content and happy children and basically you feel like a complete failure. 

The next day, when hubby hasn't done the washing up he promised to do while sending your grumpy butt off to bed the night before (his chance at a quiet, grump free hour before he starts another 12 hour day) instead of starting the day as you thought you would as you changed the first bum, peed and walked downstairs before you were hit with Hell's Kitchen) the black mood starts the day.

It's a vicious circle.  The kids feed off of your mood, the kids start whining the circle continues.  It happens.  To everyone.  Surely?  But I am not sure because we don't really like to talk about 'those days' only the one's where you either a) feel like or b) have been, superwomen.

So there you go, I have had not just one but a couple of those 'Bad and Ugly Days'.  Feeling perhaps a bit more help keeping on top of things wouldn't go a miss, that perhaps I might not make it through this toddler time with any sanity left, that maybe the kids and my husband deserve better than a grumpy, snappy 30 something.  But they are just that; a couple of bad days.  They pass.  They get forgotten.  We become superwomen / supermum / superwife / superdad (delete as appropriate) once more and write happy (and true) blogs, mostly from what I have found, being grateful for their lot in life.

But just for those parents having their own couple of 'Bad and Ugly' days - this one's for you.