Four - That Grand Old Age

Once again, I was astounded that another whole year had passed since I was attempting to find cards with SON and the appropriate age on.  J2 and I had made it through another 365 days, to the grand old age of four.

 

In 2013 when the impending age of three loomed I looked forward to it with the naïve hopefulness that, like in that legendary episode of Harry Enfield when Kevin turns from boy to teenager - but with the reverse effect - my tantrum throwing, stubborn little red head would turn into a polite, mindful little boy.

 

'When they get to three, they get easier.' I had heard almost everyone say. 

 

Hopeful.  Ever hopeful.

 

As you may have guessed this, of course, did not happen.  In fact I would dare to say that for the first six months of being three, he actually got worse.  However, things seemed to calm back down to a more manageable level for the latter six months.

 

At the ripe old age of four, J2 knows everything.  And is so unbelievably verbose he has no qualms in telling me, and most other people this in a four year old fashion.  He also has already established, to frustrating perfection, that amazing male art of 'selective hearing'.

 

Now don't get me wrong.  We have good days.  Those wonderful times when you can dare to think to yourself 'Houston I think we have turned a corner.' but more often than not, days are filled with drawn battle lines.  In a way this is fun.  I like to see my boy argue his case and try to negotiate his way out of trouble or into doing whatever he wants.  I think this could serve him as a good trait in the future if he hones it properly.  However, I do not appreciate it when we are in the middle of the supermarket and he is testing this skill out.

 

Most people take to J2 well.  He is a 'cheeky chappy' and of course I can see how that little grin and quirky comment will make you laugh and love him.  It makes me laugh and love him.  But when you see me snap 'Will you please - just do as I ask!', please remember I have been dealing with that 'cheeky chappy' and his disinterest in doing anything I ask him too, all day.

 

This is not a complaining post, I thought I had written about J1 a lot of late and it was high time I put a little something on here for my little J2 because he is such a character.  Yes he is very hard work to entertain as he doesn't have the greatest attention span, but it is a pleasure to be able to do just the 'normal' stuff such as scooting and going to the park or to the cinema.  When he behaves of course.

 

To get a day where he does and we get our chores done (hands up, he is a fantastic helper) and then we can take a trip and randomly chose an activity is, priceless.  When I watch him hop onto J1's bed with a tissue to wipe his dribble, or correct his glasses or just give him a cuddle makes me swell with pride.  To hear the two of them trying to have a little conversation - there is nothing sweeter to my ears.

 

So, as four approached I didn't imagine a big overnight change.  Good job, I didn't get one.  But I also realised that four really is a big number.  School applications have been submitted and results are eagerly awaited.  Number and letter learning books are being featured for 15 minutes a day in an attempt to get him to try and focus for more than 30 seconds.  Bikes have been mastered (with stabilisers of course) and artwork by the bucket load arrives from nursery.

 

Do I long for the baby years again?  In all honesty no.  But do I think time is going a little too fast?  Maybe.  Unless we are having a really stubborn day, then school I think will be the best place for him to learn some discipline that I am struggling to get through to him.

 

He is a character, our youngest boy, who is very into Mr Men and the only way to sum him up :

 

Mr Unique.

 

The Disability Diaries (The Life of J1) : A Very 'Special Needs' Harvest Festival

I have noted on many occasions how highly I think of my eldest Sons, J1, school.  I believe his time at the school has enhanced his life in almost every way possible.  It is the school, I maintain, that turned him from saying two words into a chatterbox.  It is the school that has helped him to develop a wonderful sense of humour.  It is the school that has made him accepting of other children his age, instead of being afraid of them.

For those who have no experience of being involved with a Special Needs school, they may think it would be very different to a mainstream school.  In lots of way it is.  Along with the teachers there is a much higher ratio of 'teaching assistants' in each class.  The school is usually also host to a lot of 'Ists' on a daily basis.  For example, Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists, Speech and Language Therapists, Music Therapists.  Outside of the classroom is an array of equipment; wheelchairs, standing frames, walking frames; mobile hoists; wedges.  There is usually a few people fixing and adjusting those pieces of kit. 

Instead of classes being host to a tiny cubicle with small toilet and sink they are built with a large 'changing place' and along with the more able-bodied childrens facility there is also a hoist, a changing bench and storage unit to hold all the individual supplies of pads.  There are an array of sensory rooms, soft rooms, quiet rooms - places children with the need for their own space can go and feel calm.  There is a full time on-site nurse to help ensure that all medication and intravenous 'food and drink' is administered correctly.

In the playground you will find all the usual items but in addition to this you will find a roundabout and swing that a wheelchair can be fixed onto.  A sensory garden with wind chimes and colour-makers.

However, in the midst of all these 'differences' many things are the same.  The school day starts at 09:00 and ends at 15:00.  They have morning break time and lunch time in the big hall.  They have Assembly on a Friday afternoon.  They have a school curriculum to work through, parent / teacher evenings, end of year reports and an Annual Awards Ceremony.

I did not know what to expect when J1 started.  I suppose I expected that he would be 'learning' a little in addition to his physical needs for Physiotherapy etc.  I did not expect him to be learning as much as he is - shame on me for not realising my sons capabilities and thank God for the school that they did! 

What I did not expect was that the children would participate in all the things I did at school.  I suppose I thought what with providing education as any school would and attending to all the extra needs of the children, they would have the time.  How wrong was I. 

 

Every year we attend the Christmas Fair, with many stalls being full of things the classes have made themselves.  It never fails to amaze me how they manage it.  We go along and are moved by the Christmas Play, with each class having their own starring moment.  Fundraisers are held each term, this one was a sponsored walk.  The entire school participates.  They have field trips regularly and a whole school outing in the Summer.  No child misses out, unless the parent feels it is necessary.  How a school does this, when catering for such a wide range of Special Needs is, in my opinion, pretty amazing.

 

One of my favourite school events however is Harvest Festival.  I think because I used to enjoy it myself.  It was exciting to go out to a different venue and sing with the school and perform whatever our class was doing.  Each year the local church opens its doors for our children.  We are treated to readings, songs, dancing and a reminder that we really should be grateful for the abundance of food we have available to us.

 

I think it is one of those triggers that it really is Autumn and I have already posted about how much I love Autumn.  It is also beautiful to see all the pupils doing something that every other school does, no matter what their disability.  It is a heart warming sight of inclusiveness that I am blessed and thankful for witnessing.   

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week

The week has, again, rapidly passed by in the blur of an eye and it is that time of the week to look back and pick out the positives with

 

Mummy from the Heart 'Reasons to be Cheerful'. 

 

It has been a strange old week weather wise.  Summer seems to have turned directly into early winter, with beautiful Autumn being passed by completely.  I hope this isn't the case.  I love the bright blue cloudless skies and that crisp and fresh air that normally becomes late September and October. 

 

With the 'adios' to Summer, comes a new routine and things like experimenting with meals and baking comes back into the fray in this household.  For starters today J2 and I made Chocolate Rice Krispie treats, as a surprise for J1 (his favourite).  Tomorrow we are making Fairy Cakes from Jo Wheatleys (last years 'Great British Bake Off' winner) 'A Passion for Baking' book.

 

So without further delay these are my 'Reasons to be Cheerful' this week :

 

* J1 is continuing to get absolutely glowing daily reports from school.  I was also extremely pleased that finally his new 'wedge' has arrived and he can re-start his 'interactive floor' sessions, as he thoroughly enjoys these.

 

* I finally took the plunge and used my J2 free Wednesday to go to the local Spa.  I took four hours to read, eat cake, lay in the sauna, cool down in the Jacuzzi and lunch.  I had set myself a goal of doing this once every three months this year.  This is the first one to date but I hope to fit one in at the end of October after my 'Great South Run' race. 

 

* As mentioned earlier with the cooler months developing the baking equipment is back out and I hope to be brave enough to test lots of new recipes from the books I have gathered up since the last time I got into 'baking' mode.

 

* I was thrilled to finish my 10K race at the weekend in a time of 1.06, much better than I had been anticipating.  I have got my re-arranged 5K Race for Life to look forward to this Sunday.

 

* Now the children are 'back to school' swimming can resume with J2 - first session is tomorrow.  I am hoping to get some 'lengths' in at the end of the toddler session as my mum is coming to get J2 dried and dressed for me.

 

* Lynsey The Mother Duck has received a new record number of page views for the month already.  This is amazing and the best inspiration to work even harder for the blog.

 

For other positives posts check out the blog hop with Michelle at Mummy from the Heart.

S is for ... September, School and Scary

So far September has been pretty good.  We waved goodbye to a rather chilly August and welcomed in September and some warmth.  This I like.  A lot.

September means many things.  The end of Summer but the beginning of the beautiful Autumn season (well beautiful to the eyes, but messy on wheelchair and buggy wheels when the leaves start to drop).  Lots of birthdays (September is super popular amongst my friends and family).  The start of Christmas ideas seeking (it's difficult finding things suitable for J1 and takes some careful planning).  But most predominantly it means the start of the new school year (cue scary music).

I find it hard to believe that J1 has been attending his school for 4 years already.  It is a fantastic school and I am so glad that we chose to send J1 to it, because the leaps and bounds that he has made, particularly in the last 2 years I attribute entirely to his teacher and the support network of assistants in the classroom.  The people that work with J1 are all truly amazing, kind hearted, generous, and special people.  Because the class has been together for 3 years a real unity of purpose had developed between the staff, children and parents over that time and all the children were doing marvelously well.

Alas, too well, it got spotted and now the school feel all the children are ready to move 'up' a class.  Thus, at the end of July at a tearful farewell tea party the end of an era occurred.  No one can really argue with the decision as it is probably very true, the children are ready to move on, so this September instead of having the comfortable knowledge that J1 is going back to his class that I know he is happy and familiar with, I have the fear that all parents have at this time of year - a new September, a new School class, a new Scary time.

I have been spoilt in the past with not having to deal with this (apart from when he went from baby class to 'proper' class but he was so small I knew it wouldn't worry him too much) and decided that instead of fretting about it all summer holidays, I would not allow myself to think about it until September.  So today being September 1st, it's time to face up to it.

All the fears are there, how will he get on in a new class and will he like the teacher?  Will he take to the new children in the class?  In a way it's nice to know that these questions would be the same ones I would have even if J1 didn't have disabilities and special needs.  But he does so my fears also include, will he receive physiotherapy everyday? Will he get standing frame time?  Will they remember that he has had surgery on both hips and suffers pain from that when he is hoisted or changed? Will they be patient and kind to him when they have had to answer the same question for the hundredth time that day?  Are they fully aware that he gets very scared if other children are moving around him too quickly?  This is probably my biggest fear, the class he is moving into are more 'able bodied' students and with J1's sensitivities I worry to my very core that all the progress he has made in gaining confidence could be shattered.

But on the other hand I know that the school do know what they are doing and I have been assured by the fantastic teachers he had, that the teacher he is going to is just as fantastic and that in depth handover packages have been completed.  I haven't mentioned to J1 that he is moving class, firstly I am not to sure that he would actually understand and I also don't want to set in motion a week of him waking up and fretting in the night if he does.  It's so difficult to know what to do for the best.  I think perhaps the idea of going back to school should be introduced over the next few days, and perhaps start showing him his uniform and lunch box, things he can associate with school, then break in the idea that he is going to be attending a new classroom and see how we fare with that information first.  I think that he will be excited to go back to school, but once he realises that it isn't quite the same as last year I might have a few days of a grumpy little man.  Just a guess...

Along with it all being quite scary however, it is also very exciting, probably more for me than him!  I can see the prospects of moving up to a 'bigger' class and how it could potentially benefit him (as long as the actual change isn't just too much for him to cope with) in ways that a few years ago I didn't think would ever happen.  The most exciting thing on the table?  LEARNING TO READ.  They believe that they will be able to get my little man LEARNING TO READ.  This is amazing and wonderful.  I think if it happens (got to think positive as he has managed to achieve so much already that not so long ago I didn't know would be possible) I will cry.  If I hear his little voice reading words on a page it will be a real life miracle for me. 

I think because I hold reading and writing so dear, and place it so high on my list of priorities (of enjoyment) to be able to share that with my little boy will just be immense.  We of course already sit together and I read to him and he adds words from memory, but for him to see the word, understand the word, enjoy it and feel proud.  Wow, I can't describe how that would feel.

But overall, I just want my little boy to still get up in the morning and say 'School today, have I got packed lunch?  What's in it, there better be some crisps!' and be happy.  Just like any parent of any child.

So for all the Scary feelings that September and School evoke, the bigger picture I think it'll be worth it.

Dedicated to my little boy J1 and going back to school in 2011.  Enjoy my sweet boy.