I had coffee (yes an actual sit down with hot liquid for half an hour - l.u.x.u.r.y!) with a friend that I haven't seen for a while a few weeks ago and in the midst of catching up she told me that although we hadn't been in touch for some time had been watching me from afar. What she said next made me waste (a rather overpriced I must say) mouthful of caffine when I spat in out in what I can only say was shock mixed with laughing until hysteria set in.
She said that she didn't know how I did it.
What? I asked a little perplexed.
She replied 'Make it look so effortless, you are always upbeat and energetic, out and about with the children, been here and there, done this and that, you keep your weight down and look well turned out. It's actually really annoying.' I sat dumbfounded for sometime, thinking about what she said, cleaning up the coffee and decided to shattered the clear illusion she had of my life.
I explained that the day starts at about 5am when my eldest little cherub decides that it is time to be wide awake, and after the first round of changing and Peppa Pig I make very strong filter coffee to kickstart the day and try and get any tidying up done before Cherub No. 2 opens his eyes and starts his wake of destruction (I am hoping it is an 18 month old thing!).
Then breakfast (or any snack / drink / meal) is made with a screaming toddler attached to my leg, but you learn to perservere and get it done anyway. I then have about 10 minutes of quiet while aforementioned snack / drink / meal is devoured before the 'Entertainment Committee' i.e. Me is called upon again. If I attempt to wash up again it is done with screaming toddler attached to leg.
A day when we get out is a luxury, otherwise it consists of 18 hours of chasing around after a very energetic and stubborn toddler, trying to clear up (which to be honest in the school holidays is like trying to put out a forest fire with a water pistol) and answering the same question (question of the week we like to call it) repeatedly with my eldest.
Now, I have had 18 months to perfect the '30 seconds allowed to wash and dress' rule and once you master it, it's pretty simple. Staple items such as jeans, vests and flip flops you can't go wrong with. Plus I have long hair that every single day gets scraped up into a messy knot (no time for brushing it, let along washing it btw), luckily this seems to be passing for 'trendy' this season. As for the weight, my buttocks don't grace a seat from 5am - 8pm so that has probably got that one sown up!
Well she said, your a bit like a duck aren't you, gliding along, breeze gently ruffling your feathers to the outside world, but underneath you are busy paddling like a crazy person! I told her she should see the sweating mess that passes for me after chasing the youngest around my house trying to dress him in the mornings!
After we laughed and I left for my apparent perfect existance that never was, I thought that I might try and start documenting life as I know it, so that the children when they are older have a 'novel of childhood' to remember and perhaps see it from my eyes, which you can never do until you have children of your own!
And so Lynsey The Mother Duck was born.