Time

It is great being part of the blogging network social sites.  Yes they take extra time and effort to keep maintained and up to date, but you meet some great people and it is a great and easy way to keep up with lots of current blog posts.

I am part of the fabulous Britmums, but am also part of a couple of USA based ones and have met some great blogging mums on those too.  It is through these blogs that I get to see some of the most beautiful photographs of happy families in magnificent winter wonderland snow scenes.  These are what you have as a stereotypical scene of the winter months, however looking out of my lovely living room window, yes it is nippy but what I can see is more what I wold call autumn.  In January.   

Most of the trees in my garden are still smothered in brown dying foliage, the paths are still slippery and covered with mushy leaves and my parents are still complaining that despite having no trees in their front yard, they have a bag full of nature to sweep up every day.  This got me thinking even more about time, something I have been doing a lot of lately.  It seems strange to not have bare tree twigs outside my door which is common to these deep winter months and with myself not being a lover of the snow (yes it looks very pretty at first fall but is deeply impractical for getting on with your day to day life) I am kind of thankful that it is missing. 

I do think in a weird way though we are 'missing our seasons' - for whatever reason, luck, environmental, the ozone, October in Blighty was practically balmy and I don't think I got my winter coat out until December and have barely needed a scarf, but when you are used to the four clear seasons, as we are, it all feels out of sorts. 

It made me think about my life to date, and depending on what stage I was at has depended on how I have looked at 'time'.  I remember as a child the six weeks holidays stretching forever, a two week holiday in the summer really did feel like a long break away.  As I reached my teens years terms seemed to last forever and the vacation periods flew by.  When I started work life was Monday to Friday, 9 - 5, with the weekend barely lasting two minutes (with not enough time to shake off the hangovers). 

When I had my first baby time rolled into one and I struggled to know if it was day or night let alone what day it was.  Then my baby started school and I was back to working in terms again, frantically trying to ensure all the right things were in place for each one and arranging appropriate childcare for the holidays which seemed to come around and equally go super fast. 

And now, with a Husband and multiple children life flies by at a rate of knots, the three school terms all start and end in the blink of an eye, summer holidays are enjoyed and passed too soon, holidays are booked, taken and talked about before the washing and ironing is even done.  All of a sudden I find myself in my 30's and having thoughts such as; how can I ensure that I don't miss a second of what is going on with the children because they won't be children for long but also ensure that I do the things that I have always wanted to do and achieve as an individual aswell.  Will I get it all fitted in?

Now, the world and economy that we live in really doesn't make it possible to say 'Sod work, lets all live together in a happy family world and disappear off to see the world' we have to be realistic, and to make the most of it we need to find a balance, of family life, children time, husband and wife time and 'me' time.  And most of the time, there isn't enough time to do that easily (time, time, time!). 

It is a struggle, one that finds its way into most families I know.  It has raised its head recently to us, as is clear in my last few blog posts.  And so we blindly canter along in the pace of UK life (pretty fast), trying to make the most of what we are doing with our lives and trying to make time to do the right things to make memories.

I remember reading a piece of writing about time some years ago and not taking much notice of it but I have been thinking about it of late.  It was a piece on what time means to different people, for example a tenth of a second that is gone in the blink of an eye for most is the difference between gold and silver for an elite athlete. That one night for a couple in love is gone to soon but for a women in labour in a hospital ward is not gone soon enough.  A month for someone that has a long term prison sentence is nothing, but for the parent of an ill child or a premature baby seems like a lifetime.   

With my husbands health scares (multiple) at the end of last year we realised more prominently (I think everyone is aware, just every now and again something happens to bring it to the fore-front of your mind) that life is short, children are only children for a short time and babies even shorter, and although things such as sleep deprivation, money worries, work stress can cause snappy, snippy moments, keep them to just that, moments and enjoy the rest of your time with the family you are blessed to have.

Me - In the alternate universe (Thoughtful Thursday)

I am sure that everyone has a version of themselves in their head that they think they would be if they were ever transported back to when they were young, single and child-free.  I do, I like to call it 'Me, in the Alternate Universe'.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to ever be young, single and child-free again, no thank you very much, but I like to think that if I went back and knew what I knew now, in my 30's

I would be a lot more savvy and a lot more appreciative of certain things, those things that as a wife and a mother we very often, give up. 

Now again don't get me wrong, I haven't sat down and written a list of 'things to give up' now I am a wife and mother they are just things that I can no longer legitimately put at the top of my priority list and they fall by the wayside.  Some of those things (e.g. drinking and partying) I have been happy to say goodbye to, most certainly day long hangovers.

But some of them I hold onto in my 'Me, in the Alternate Universe' in the hopes that one day, when the kids are a little older and I get time to appreciate my husband once again I will also have time to appreciate me and the things I loved and have learned I would have loved had I had the knowledge I have now in my 30's, in my 20's.

They are a wide and vast array of things, the things that I appreciate having or having time to do in my alternate universe but here at but a few...

In my Alternate Universe I do work, but at my original job at the local university.  I so did not appreciate the extra time I had when I worked a mere 10 minute drive from home.  And they ran a scheme whereby they would allow you a set number of 'work hours' to go and do volunteering.  This was an amazing missed opportunity by me and in my Alternate Universe I definitely take this up.  

Working locally would mean that I would have the time to fit in at least 3 early evening runs per week

followed by a lovely, luxurious deep, hot, bubble bath with my favourite music blasting away in the bedroom whilst I undertook, at leisure, any beauty regimes I wanted.

I would have pride in my flat, and decorate it myself slowly and deliberately, and it would be uncluttered and have display cabinets / space for my lovely things to be out for me to appreciate (rather than packed in storage in the dark and desperate depths of the loft) - be free gorgeous hot pink stemmed Martini glasses that I painstakingly managed to get home from New York in one piece, be free to look beautiful!

I would take one evening a week to catch up with friends, one evening a week to relax and watch movies, one evening a week to experiment with new recipes in the kitchen, one evening to clean and iron (and I only need one evening because there is only my clothes to iron) and one evening to be creative and maybe take a dance class.

Weekends I would wake at 8 (which now I understand IS a lie in) and enjoy freshly brewed coffee

before enjoying getting washed and dressed singing to my music (where clothes, shoes and accessories would match) and (in take of breath) hair would be straightened. 

Saturdays would be spent visiting friends and family and visiting places all over.  Driving and seeing where it took me.  Visiting all the fabulous shopping centres and places of interest that the country has to offer that I have never made the effort to see when I had the perfect chance (although 'Me - in real world' does get access to doing lots of cool kid things that without kids you don't get the opportunity to do either even though you think it would be so cool to do).  Evenings would not always been spent out, a few of course and doing a variety of things but I would like to offer to babysit for friends and family so that they could enjoy some Saturday Night 'alone' time with their loved one, because I understand now that can make all the difference to a couple in the throng of life with 2.4 children.

Sunday would be race days, I would try and run in a race in a different area every other week, again a great way to see lots of different place.  The alternate weeks would be 'Lazy Sunday' the morning spent in bed, reading the delivered Sunday paper before getting ready to go and meet friends for Sunday Lunch at the pub, or cooking and having friends over before of course getting fully ready and prepared for the week ahead.

As I say I do not crave to go back to being young and single, but I suppose what this blog post points out to me is I miss organising and controlling my days time and activities (lets face it we swing around on the pendulum of what the kids need and want and it's almost impossible to schedule anything with any definitive time line, it's inevitable that J2 is going to poop and need changing the minute I get his shoes and coat on).  And I would just appreciate time and what I did with it more.

But some time will come back and then I will be writing a blog reminiscing and rose tinting about the days and times life was unplanned, unscheduled and ad-hoc.  But hey, I'm a laaaaddddddyyyyy and that's my prerogative on Thoughtful Thursdays...

Heady Days of a Late Summer (Thankful / Thoughtful Thursday)

When you do scheduled posts, it makes you very aware of how quickly the week goes by.  A bit like when your child starts school and you start living in the world of 9am - 3pm, or you work in a routine Monday to Friday job.

I remember standing on a single bed and whining when I was very young at how slow the year went (probably waiting for a birthday or Christmas) and my mum saying to me 'appreciate that feeling because when you get older it all goes past far too quickly'.  She was 34, I remember that specifically for no real reason maybe she said so, but she was not much different to where I am now must have had the realisation that life is short.

Seasons that once seemed to stretch, summer, long, warm and tiring, winter cold, dark but enchanting, autumn chilly and exciting with the start of lots of new things and spring full of prospect that summer was approaching now seem to fly by in a whirl of school terms, childrens' activities, anniversaries, birthdays, special events, bookings, appointments and pay days.

Nowadays it seems before I have finally found all of the Christmas decorations (I never remember putting as many out as I find to put away...) and packed them away in their home in the loft, I have got lists of 'ideas' for the kids on the go for the next festive season.  And birthdays, well this year I told everyone I was a year older than I was, because I have given up attempting to keep track they come around so quickly.

But this week, we have been blessed by Mother Nature with the delusion of gaining some time.  The weather here in Blighty has been positively barmy over the last few days and it has felt like we were back in June.  My mum and I decided that we call these types of days 'bonus days' and I feel very lucky to live by the coast at times like these because you can drop what you are doing and go and really enjoy it.

For any of you following my 'The Run Mummy Run Mumma' blog you will know that I chose yesterday as the day I started running again.  And I could not have chosen a better day.  It was a perfect run and gave me a whole load of extra inspiration as to why I wanted to do it again.  The sky was blue, the sun was beaming, the sea was sparkling and gently lapping and a light breeze flowed over me.  But of course the thing I was most thankful for was just the basic ability to be able to run and experience all of that.

So thank you to Nature for the extra 'bonus' summer days that has given, everyone it seems, a little extra bit of joy.

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