Monthly Feature : Marvellous Mum

In the third feature of the series 'Marvellous Mums', we meet working mum, running mum and general all round fabulous mum; Sara Willcocks.  It is extra good luck for me that she is also one of my oldest and most wonderful friends, having known each other since Primary School.  Sara has a job that many of us would dream of Campaigns Manager / PR Consultant for the wonderful charity Young Epilepsy, which often sees her mingling with the Stars. 

Not only has Sara a high profile job but she is also an amazing wife and mother and here she tells us why she loves her fast paced life as a working mum.


Tell us a little bit about your family?

My family is small but perfectly formed! Not quite the 2.4, we are one mummy (that’s me clearly!); one daddy (aka hubby number one!) and our beautiful, five year old daughter, Jessie May.

Tell us a little bit about your career?

I am by trade a PR consultant, having been fortunate enough to get onto this particular ladder after leaving college before finishing my A-levels. I’d go as far to say that I stumbled upon after realising I wasn’t very good at the previous two roles within a PR company: accounts and administration! I can’t think of a career that I could be any more suited to as it allows me to partake in the two things I love doing most: talking and writing!!

I’m currently working in the charity sector – a dual role for two charities. I am the Campaigns Manager for a national charity dedicated to children and young people living with epilepsy. My job is diverse and incredibly busy, but can often be lots of fun. PR is still a big feature in my role, but I also have a fundraising target, and I manage our celebrity and ambassador relationships. 

I also work with a smaller charity called GRACE, which supports women in Surrey, Sussex and Hampshire who are diagnosed with gynaecological cancers. I got involved with the charity after my mum died from cervical cancer, so it has a very special place in my heart.

What are the high points of being a working mum?

For me being a working mum was a choice I made. I was lucky to have the option, although my desire to work was part driven by my need to maintain my independence. I needed to know that I could – if needed –support both my daughter and myself.  This was very important to me and it still is.  That aside, I really do enjoy working – although I do sometimes have off days - and I don’t think my personality is suited to being at home full time.  I crave adult conversation and activity too much.

I would argue that it has also greatly benefitted Jessie, who attended nursery while I worked and, as a result, is a sociable, confident and bright little girl. She loves other children and has great friends, hobbies and a brilliant social life.   This will have long lasting benefits on her as she goes through life.

I know for certain that Jessie is a happy and secure little girl. She has no doubts that she is the most important person in mummy and daddy’s lives and I’m pretty sure she sees our work as just a means to an end.

What are the downsides of being a working mum?

There’s a well known saying often quoted in reference to working parents (mainly us mums!): “you can’t have it all”. I’ve never 100% agreed with this because I believe it largely depends on your own personal definition of what ‘having it all’ really means. For me, being a working mum is about compromise and something always needs to give. There is always a sacrifice and I’d be lying to myself if I said otherwise. Something always has to give.

Jessie is my absolute number one priority and I try to balance my work life by making sure I’m there to drop her off at her classroom every day, rather than sending her to breakfast club, and I try to make sure I pick her up early as often as I can too. I refuse to miss special assemblies or school events/concerts; fully participate on the PTA; and we have play dates with other kids and their mums all the time.

Do you think being a working mum benefits your family lifestyle, or would you trade it to be a SAHM?

It definitely benefits our lifestyle. Having a dual income allows us to do nice things and takes away some of the financial stresses that many families are faced with today. If I didn’t work there would be a lot of pressure on my husband’s income.  In truth, no I wouldn’t trade it in. I would make the decision to work over again, although probably just part time.

Is your household laid back, or manic?

A bit of both: we have chilled days and manic days. Work days are crazy and getting out the front door on time is like a job in itself. I’m constantly up against the clock, needing to get to school on time, needing to not be too late for work (and often failing!), and then getting back for pick up. Our weekends, however, are mostly laid-back and very family focused.

What are your favourite type of family days? (eg - duvet days, days out etc)

We love going out to do things as a family, but my favourite time is definitely our duvet days! And Jessie agrees with me. We love nothing more than snuggling up together –literally under our ‘snuggle blanket’ and watching movies; listening to the rain or – our latest initiative – playing Top Trumps! Because the weeks are so busy, weekends are really important to all three of us. We make sure we eat together and, from the moment we get in on a Friday evening, we are on wind down. Homework is banned! Quite often we’ll have camping expeditions in our living room: not the most comfortable night’s sleep, but it’s good fun and Jessie loves it – especially if we put the fire on and have a ‘midnight feast’.

Finally, why is it Marvellous being a Mum?

Being a mum is quite simply the best and most rewarding thing in the world.  I was literally taken aback when I discovered firsthand the full strength of the love that a parent feels.  Of course we all have days of despair, but nothing beats getting to know the wonderful little person you and your plus one brought into the world: helping them make their own journey and discoveries along the way.  I couldn’t be prouder of our little girl – she is the marvellous one!

If you want to find out more about the Charity Young Epilepsy, check out the website here.  You can raise money for Young Epilepsy by Taking The Purple Pledge, for details clikc here.http://www.youngepilepsy.org.uk/mypurplepledge/

The Disability Diaries : Supporting Young Epilepsy - My Purple Pledge

**Part of a Series of Posts Supporting Young Epilepsy (www.youngepilepsy.org.uk)**

**Will You Take The Purple Pledge on 26 March 2012?**

The following post comes directly from Young Epilepsy :

Paint the town purple!

Celebrities join forces with Young Epilepsy to launch My Purple Pledge

Young Epilepsy is urging people all over the country to back flagship campaign ‘My Purple Pledge’ this March, and make a difference to the lives of the 112,000 young people in the UK living with epilepsy.

Backed by a series of famous faces including Commonwealth, European and World Champion 400 metre hurdler Dai Greene, Young Epilepsy is asking the public and celebrities alike to do something purple and help put a spotlight on this misunderstood condition. 

Pledges could range from wearing purple to work or school, baking and selling purple cakes, taking part in a Purple Zumba, or even being sponsored to lie in a bath of blackcurrant juice! Anything goes and the quirkier the better! Any pledge – big or small – will help raise vital funds for the charity which is the UK’s only national charity dedicated to children and young people with epilepsy and other associated neurological conditions.

‘My Purple Pledge’ coincides with Purple Day (26 March 2012), the international day to mark epilepsy awareness and National Epilepsy Awareness Week (May 2012).

Young Epilepsy Ambassador, Dai Greene, said: “My Purple Pledge aims to put epilepsy on the map and make people aware of what it really means. I’m fully behind the campaign and will be pledging purple to help improve the lives of a lot of young people with epilepsy. I’m hoping that as many people as possible will be ‘in the purple’ for the 26 March and help raise desperately needed funds for such a deserving cause.

“Epilepsy effects over 112,000 children and young people under the age of 25 – including myself - and is the most common neurological condition in the UK. Despite this, it’s still relatively unknown and has little awareness.”

Lisa Farmer, Director of Fundraising at Young Epilepsy, commented: “My Purple Pledge is a fun way of generating awareness about a very serious condition. All monies raised through the campaign will be used to provide life-changing support through our special school, college, medical centre and residential homes. Ultimately, it will help young people with epilepsy across the country to fulfill their potential.”

Epilepsy is a serious debilitating disorder of the body’s nervous system causing symptoms such as paralysis, muscle weakness and seizures. It affects around one child in every primary school and five in every secondary school. Around 6,000 young people will experience communication, learning or behaviour problems. In some cases they will also have a significantly higher mortality rate.

The Children’s ISA is the main My Purple Pledge sponsor for 2012, with the first commercial partner being EasyLink UK, which provides epilepsy seizure monitors.

Please visit www.mypurplepledge.com for more information or follow My Purple Pledge on Twitter @purplepledge.

Around 6,000 of children have an extreme form of epilepsy, resulting in profound disabilities including physical, learning, psychological, and behavior difficulties, and a high mortality rate.  The complex and severe nature of their disabilities, combined with difficult to control seizures, make it impossible for them to find support in mainstream education.  Young Epilepsy provides continuous care to around 200 children and young people with complex epilepsy and other neurological conditions such as autism. This includes essential education, support and expert medical care on our campus in Surrey and a residential service, which is home to some children 365 days a year.

The Disability Diaries (The Life of J1) : Something I Am Thankful For (Supporting Young Epilepsy)

**Part of a Series of Posts Supporting Young Epilepsy (www.youngepilepsy.org.uk)**

**Will You Take The Purple Pledge on 26 March 2012?**

From when we brought J1 home from the Special Care Baby Unit, at just a month old (weeks before he should have even been born) he used to 'jump'.  At first we assumed that this was the normal reflexes of a newborn, particularly as my little newborn should have still been in my tummy.

This 'jumping' continued as J1 grew, but like everything we just assumed it was all normal and part and parcel of a baby.  As he got bigger, they got more frequent and for months I just always put it down to J1 being 'spooked', and reacting.

However, the 'jumps' started to become so frequent, they made me start to take notice.  What I noticed was that J1 could be as calm as anything and have a series of 'jumps' and this was happening many many times throughout the day.  This was obviously just one of things that I had started to notice that was not quite right, but it didn't occur to me either that it might be epilepsy.

One of the very first appointments we had to attend was for an Electroencephalogram (EEG).  As J1 sat on my lap and ate his lunch, looking a little like Medusa with all the patches attached to his little skull measuring his brain activity, the enormity of the situation still didn't occur to me.  It wasn't until the 'Accidental' diagnosis letter appeared that I realised, part of the diagnosis was 'Myoclonic Jerks' (possible epilepsy).

This worried me hugely.  I sort of understood epilepsy and I knew that I did not want my child to have that along with everything else he was dealing with.  However, after the EEG, it was like one small miracle happened.  The 'jumping' stopped.  And from the age of about 18 months to 3 we didn't see any activity that would indicate any form of Epilepsy.

Then something different started happening.  J1 started having episodes where he would go trance like and we couldn't snap him out of it.  Back to the Doctors we went and they suggested he was now having 'Absences'.  Again I was unfamiliar, as far as I knew Epilepsy meant uncontrollable fitting, I had to get into research mode and find out what I could.

J1 demonstrated these 'Absences' from the ages of 3 - 5, but again, thank the stars, they seem to have stopped occurring and I pray and pray that this continues.  So many of J1's school friends suffer with this terrible condition, and on speaking with many of the parents, it is this part of their disability that they struggle of cope with the most. 

Charities like Young Epilepsy provide essential support to parents like me, and are working hard to raise awareness of just how much Epilepsy is affecting young people today.   I will be producing a series of posts on this blog supporting Young Epilepsy and their campaign 'My Purple Pledge' which co-incides with the international 'Purple' day to mark Epilepsy Awareness on Monday 26 March 2012.

If you want to make a Purple Pledge please visit the Young Epilepsy website to see how you can help to make a difference.  Please support those who do deal with living with Epilepsy.  I am currently classing myself as one of the lucky parents who's child is not suffering with this condition, but I certainly live under the cloud of 'uncertainty' and pray that it doesn't rain down on J1 or my family again.