New Home, New Lease... Of Life?

At last I have made it back to the land of blog-dom, and how I have missed thee!  But I am most pleased to say that I am sitting writing my blog post in the warmth of our new family home, at our much longed for dining table, in front of our very beautiful Christmas Tree. 


So life is good, the move is complete (and went pretty smoothly), the unpacking is taking place slowly but surely (with J2 round my ankles I have been realistic and rather than expecting to be unpacked in two days have set myself a target of unpacking two boxes a day, so far so good).  The kitchen is functioning, the living room a Christmas haven and two bedrooms are, very nearly, box free.  Santa's elves worked hard this week to wrap all Christmas presents which just leaves one Christmas food shop to negotiate.  A packed out month but wow, it has certainly ensured that Christmas has come around quick.


I realised this morning however, whilst chatting with a friend of mine that since moving into the new house last weekend, the new house has given me a new kind of attitude towards things.  Certain things that I lacked enthusiasm to do have started to return, like cooking proper dinners and ensuring that we are all eating much more healthily, making sure I stay up to chat to Hubby about his day when he gets in from work (albeit a reasonable time of course, it's not always possible when J2 doesn't sleep through the night ... ever... if that had changed would have been great but alas...)  even that I make the effort to filter my nice coffee in the morning rather than making instant. 


All these things had started to fall by the wayside, and I know I have a lot on my plate of important things to do in general with J1 and J2, and some of the afore mentioned things are not over important to most people, but they were things that were important to me.  I have been able to realise now that I was getting so stressed out with the lack of living space at the old house and having everything bursting at the seams so that there was not one single uncluttered surface that it was closing in on me and having an adverse affect.


However, new home, new attitude, I feel less stressed, thus I want to start making an effort with my appearance again, and have proved in the last couple of days that I can do it, and with J2 snapping at my heels.  I located clothes that had been holed up in boxes because we had no space to have them out that I forgot I had, to be honest I forgot I had anything other to wear than jeans!  It's funny, because of feeling more 'glam' (even found my heels) I have felt more like 'me' and more empowered and in control which in turn has made me more determined to get things in order without being dictated to by a 21 month old all day. 


I have been positive on being able to unpack without someone looking after the boys, yes with some whining in ears, but I have in general been able to do it so maybe I was always underestimating what I could get done or maybe the new house has had a positive impact on J2 too.  He certainly has more areas to investigate and keep him occupied, albeit more call for me to have eyes in the back of my head.  But am I...dare I say it... seeing more light at the end of the tunnel on the trauma of toddler hood?  Will I...dare I think it... survive?


Our house move has co-incided with a friends recent predicament that I have been discussing with her at length, should she take voluntary redundancy from her full time job because it was having a negative effect on her home life.  This lead to numerous discussions about the pro's and con's of being a SAHM and we came to the same conclusion, until we sacrificed it we didn't, or perhaps couldn't, appreciate it.  But without sacrificing it we wouldn't know that when we have it we should make the most of it. 


What we also established was that being a SAHM didn't mean we had to lose ourselves and all of our own identity as is easy to do when you are lucky enough to be in a position to be a SAHM and your job is 100% home and children.  It is o.k to think about giving yourself 20 minutes to get dressed and make yourself presentable, especially if that makes you feel good and has a positive impact on your day, if encourages you to think 'Yes I will make plans to do x y z' or just puts you in a better mood to think 'I'll plan a good day'.


My friends situation made me look at my own and re-evaluate.  My days were becoming more 'slummy-mummy' than 'yummy-mummy', my scheduled style was being lost and as a resulted I was becoming tetchy, stressed, frustrated and in turn hard to live with and not much fun for the kids.  So I am using this new home, as a new start and at a fabulous time to start being more 'mummy social', no better a social time than Christmas.  Take today for instance, we have had a fantastic day catching up with a friend and her adorable little girl that I haven't seen since the Wedding in March.


So today was a good start to 'yummy - mummy' days.

Dear Boys - Letter of Life 3 (Family Friday)

Dear Boys

November 2011.


This is a very exciting but stressful time for us all at the moment.  We are moving house.  Mummy has been very stressed trying to pack up the house into boxes and Daddy has been on the phone, a lot, trying to organise all the other things that comes with moving house.

Sadly, as much as we love our current home we need some more space, and thus began the search for our new family home.  We have been very lucky and found somewhere that we can be moved into before Christmas 2011.  The house is a 'period' house, which is very different for us, but means we can have the most awesome Christmas Tree in the window at the front and we think it will be a wonderful family home.

I hope that our new home is the venue for as many happy memories as we have had in the current one.  As excited as I am about the new house, our old one holds a lot of our most precious times:

I was pregnant in with J2 in this house, and subsequently in labour
It was where we all brought J2 home for the first time and where J1 had his first cuddle
It was where Daddy proposed to Mummy
It was where we woke up on our Wedding Morning
It's where J1's first tooth came out
It's where J2 started to crawl and then took his first steps
It's where J1 started to sing songs

There are many more memories but these are some of the biggest ones and that is going to be difficult to leave behind.  A happy place is always harder to leave than an unhappy one, so I suppose that is a good sign, that we have all been very happy here.

In the mean time Mummy is sorry that she has been a bit stressed and busy over the last week or so, but by the time you read this when you are all grown yourself, you will probably understand the amount of work that is needed to move home.  But it will all be worth it.

So we say goodbye to our old home with much fondness and go forth to our new home with much hope.

Love Always 
Mummy

Be Careful What You Wish For... (Monday Madness)

Last week I penned a blog called 'A House is Not a Home' in which I outlined how we had outgrown our current house and was starting the long haul search for a new one.  Why long haul?   Well with J1 and his special needs of a house that would suit his disabilities and equipment storage requirements, finding something suitable is far from easy.  I also wistfully wrote about having more family living space and as an extra bonus a utility area and room for a dining table.  A pipe dream.

So I thought.

Once we had found an estate agent that actually grasped the concept of our predicament of having certain things within a house for J1 (and believe me, many will listen and then send you a whole bucketful of unsuitable properties anyway) he sent us a few details to review and they good like they were worth a look.  The first of the 'possibles' we wanted to jump all over, it was a bungalow for a start (quite rare in the size we need) but we both had a nagging feeling that something was not going to allow us to have that property and that was right, another agent had already started the letting process with some tenants.

I was disheartened.  I know how long it took to find this house and suitable ones just are not in abundance.  To have found one so good was a long shot to start with so to lose it was disappointing.  I was not in good spirits when the Estate Agents office sent through another two.  Hubby noted one was a house (so I was quite dismissive to start with 'Hmpf, great a house, unless it has got multiple reception rooms [so J1 can have one as a downstairs bedroom] and still give us extra space then it's not worth even bothering to look - more hmpfing and grumbling') and one was another bungalow... hmmm o.k worth firing up the laptop to look.

I could immediately see that the bungalow was not going to be suitable (with a 'here we go' - months of looking and not even going to view them), as already mentioned, with most bungalows it wasn't going to be big enough.  I thought I would glance at the house details quickly so I could formally dismiss it and we could continue with the search, the Estate Agent had mentioned that he may have a suitable property coming onto the books in January.

As I nonchalantly flicked open the details of the house, did my eyes deceive me I wondered?  This property looked like it could work, I felt a little flutter of excitement, because not only did it look like it had a suitable 'reception' room that would work for J1, but it would give us more family room, a fair bit more and it was a 'period' property, with bags and bags of character (I use this as a 'I know I have hit 30 and 'grown up hood' because I am now loving 'period' properties with 'character'!)

On viewing day I got more excited as the time ticked by to go and see it.  Hubby was less enthused but I just knew I was going to love it.  And love it I did.  We spent time viewing and then working out logistics and then viewing again.  I expect I was an Estate Agents dream, I couldn't hide my excitement.  Once Hubby was on board, we entered the scary phase of negotiating rent and putting in our application to the landlord.  I hate that bit and envision everything possible going wrong, I suppose like for buyers being gazumped, or the chain breaking.

I am still in disbelief that we have managed to find and secure somewhere new to live so quickly.  And thus comes the stressful part... packing and moving right before Christmas.  Madness?  I think so.  I struggle to get the normal day to day stuff done in between school runs and the entertainment committee that J2 requires to get him through the day.  Where I am going to get the opportunity to pack up an entire house, an entire full of stuff house, is a mystery to me right now.  Days are ticking by and I have only just bought up my first lot of bubble wrap.  My aim is to try and do it little and often, a cup here, a drawer there and hope for the best.

But once that is done, all those things I mentioned as a wish list in 'A House is Not a Home', the space for a dining table, a utility room, more room for J1's equipment to live without us all walking into and being covered in bruises, a nicer area to live will be real for us all.  And for that I am very thankful.  And I apologise to anyone that may feel the wrath of the stress of the next month!

To a new home and an exciting new year.

A House is Not a Home (Family Friday)

This may shock some people but we don't own our home.  We are renters.  And quite frankly with the current economical climate very happy about it.  We have the obligatory discussion about if it is something we should consider, now we are married with 2.4 children and we always come to the same conclusion -nope not right now.
I believe the right time will come, in the right place, with the right house but that isn't right now.  So for now I love the house we rent.  It has some character but has been nicely fitted out by a landlord that demonstrates good tastes and we are very lucky to have it.  Due to our family circumstances of J1 being in a wheelchair and severely physically disabled we do not have the pick of any house we want.  The chances of finding a perfect adapted house are zero so we work around it.  We have to have either a bungalow or a house that has large enough downstairs space (i.e. multiple reception rooms or a large dining room) so that one of those spaces can be made into a bedroom, large enough to house bedroom furniture and a bucketful of equipment.

Just something else that is not easy as it can be for other families.

So to find something suitable and something that you love as a home is tough.  But we managed it with this house.  We have spent two happy years here.  But children grow.  Children's 'stuff' increases (and believe you me, I am brutal on clear outs) and although we have managed to date, the last month when Hubby has been home 24 hours a day too it has become glaringly clear that we have out grown this house. 

When Hubby first started to venture into these waters I was venomously against the idea.  Not only was the house doing its job for us but it's in a fantastic location, I can walk to the schools, walk to the sea, walk into town, walk to my mum's, walk to the 'Gardens'.  I argued that I would not move anywhere that wouldn't give me and the children, who are here all day and need stimulation the same pleasent quality of life.

But this year, no matter how we try and think about how we could re-arrange our small family area, we do not even have the space for a Christmas tree. 

We have no room for the gifts that Santa will bring.  J1 will only get more and bigger equipment to aid him in life and J2 will only continue to grow and charge around at a more feisty pace.

This coupled with our local Council making some very dubious decisions about what is to happen to the happy seaside town in which we live at the moment has forced me to re-think.  So I am to start detaching myself from this house, and letting in new ideas. 

A new area is in the frame but not too far away that we would need to change J1's school at the moment, and budget permitting a house that gives us more family room, maybe enough space for a (intake of breath) dining table!  Maybe a kitchen big enough to have all my kitchen stuff out of the loft... 

...well maybe not 'that' big, think how long it'd take to clean.  But maybe a living room large enough that we can have a Christmas tree.  Our need for more day to day living space has got to take precedence over my longing to have all amenities within walking distance.  Of course I wouldn't choose something that would harm our quality of life, but I am thinking about being more flexible about what is essential. 

Once I got over my habit of immediately saying 'No' to a new idea (think 'Monica' from Friends) I realised how (hard work it would be, yes) but exciting too.

Finding a new home to fall in love with that fits our new families needs.  Of course coupled with the excitement comes the fear of the aforementioned hard work and the fear of disappointment (experienced once this week already grrrrrrr) but I think of us being able to eat around a dining table together and know it is the right thing to do now.

And whatever happens WE ARE HAVING A REMOVALS COMPANY!  Because we do not want this happening to Hubby again...