FICTION : Camomile Crescent - The Wrights

27 Camomile Crescent - Sarah & Sean

Sarah Wright smiled at the photograph of her daughter Melanie, dressed up as a Cabbage Patch Doll for the school annual Halloween competition.  She was eight if memory served her correctly.  Some of the children didn't understand why she had chosen to be a Cabbage Patch Doll because it wasn't scary.  But to Melanie it was.  They had always been the scariest thing ever created according to her.

That was ten years ago.  Melanie, daughter to Sarah and Sean Wright, was now an outgoing, vibrant and extremely doted upon only child.  She still held a - self-confessed completely irrational - fear of dolls.  Sarah had always felt that because she was only able to have one child she had been blessed with an amazing one.  Melanie was intelligent, pretty but very sensible for a teenager.

She had never brought trouble to their door.  She had maintained good stable friendships, never veering off with 'the wrong crowd'.  Most importantly, had a firm view on how she wanted her life to go.  For Sarah and Sean it was the ideal scenario.  She wanted to finish her A-Levels and go travelling around Europe for three months before embarking on her degree course.  After University Melanie then planned on teacher training and a career as a Physical Education tutor. Sarah secretly hoped that Melanie would be able to get a job at The Academy and would either live at home, or at the very least, close by. 

Sean had suggested that travelling was for the year after graduating University, when she was older. But Melanie had been set on the idea.  Sarah had discussed with Sean how grown up Melanie was for an 18 year old.  She also pointed out that she had given her all to her A-Level courses for the last two years, and probably needed a good break.  They had to encourage hard work, but needed to show reward for it as well - and it was what Melanie desperately wanted.  Sean had pondered this and had to agree. 

Melanie worked every weekend at a fashion shop in the local Shopping Centre.  She took extra shifts every holiday to save additional monies for her trip.  She had planned it meticulously for months with two of her other girlfriends, and had even been agreeable to have the journey and accommodation choices approved by the parents.

Melanie had always had a very grown up outlook on life, which had been a pleasure for Sarah.  She had always believed it was because Melanie had, more often that not, been in the company of adults as she was growing up.  The family had very few children within it.  Of course she had friends at play-groups, but on a general basis life was just Melanie, Sarah and Sean. 

Even at nursery Melanie had been described as 'Mothering' to the other children.  If someone needed a tissue, she would fetch it.  If someone was hurt, she would comfort them.  It was the actions she experienced most herself, so it was no real surprise to Sarah.  As devastated as the couple had been to discover they could not have anymore children, they were grateful for having Melanie.  They decided early on that they must give her every opportunity they possibly could to have the best in life.  For Sarah, everytime Melanie achieved something or started on a new phase of something - even the terrible twos - Sarah embraced and treasured it knowing this was her one and only chance to experience it.

Sarah had decided on being a stay at home mother and had worked hard at starting Melanies education before she even got to school.  She researched the best play methods, home learning tools and positive reinforcements techniques.  Sarah and Sean had decided to enrol Melanie into the small school at the end of Camomile Crescent.  Despite it's poor reputation Sean fiercely believed that if a child was adept to learning and doing well they could do it anywhere.  When Melanie had started her secondary education Sarah had decided to start volunteering in the local primary school, hoping she could have a positive effect on other children and started off helping with one to one reading in classes. 

Then the major overhaul of Melanies school into 'The Academy' had occurred and Sarah was secretly delighted.  Melanie had been excelling already.  The new environment and teachers, Sarah believed, could only enhance that.  Sarah herself in the meantime, had gleaned an excellent reputation for her penchant to help children to read and write.  Her services had been snapped up by The Academy.  She opted for the Primary School so as not to cause Melanie any embarrassment - afterall who wanted their mother encroaching on their school space.  She didn't want Melanie to feel inhibited in anyway, she understood she had to be free to develop her own world.  But it was pleasing to Sarah that she could subtly keep an eye on her.

She turned the page of the large photo album and was met with various snaps of Melanie holding trophies.  Swimming.  Athletics.  Netball.  All such proud moments.  Now Melanie was fixated with Triathlon.  Sarah wasn't sure where she got her ability for sport.  It certainly wasn't from herself or Sean.  She was pleased though and was sure that Melanies focus on sport had been a huge factor in keeping her away from the urges to try underage drinking and clubbing.  Most weekends she had a competition or training schedule of some sort.  This coupled with her part time work, she didn't have the time or energy to go out.  Sarah had to admit, she had been the envy of many of the parents she knew as they all suffered through many a rebellious phase with their teenagers. 

Melanies biggest vice was shoes.  Sean often commented that with the amount she owned she could open her own shoe store.  They had converted the smallest bedroom of 27 Camomile Crescent, into a walk-in wardrobe for Melanie for her 18th birthday.  The most elaborate and costly part was a fabulous shoe storage unit that Imelda Marcos would have been proud of.  Being forced to choose only a limited number of shoes to take travelling had been a tough ask for Melanie. 

Sarah had omitted to tell Sean that Melanie had called and asked if she could arrange for a trunk of purchases to be shipped home.  She decided if she told him that then she would have to explain about the credit card she had given her.  He believed that the trip should be a learning experience, including budgeting, but Sarah couldn't have slept at night if she wasn't assured Melanie had a financial back up.  When Melanie had arrived in Italy a few days into her trip, she had called Sarah and asked if she could use the card to pick up a few 'soverniers'.  Sarah had been pleased that she had called to seek approval and because of that had agreed.  She had made many phone calls to the courier company to ensure that it was delivered whilst Sean was at work and had unpacked it and disposed of the packaging at the recycling plant before he got home.

Sarah closed the photo album and placed it carefully back in her wardrobe.  She straightened her pristine, white duvet cover free of wrinkles and went across the hall to Melanies room.  She opened the door, as she had done every night since Melanie had been born and breathed in the scent of the room.  There wasn't really a scent as such now as Melanie had not been in there for almost three months.  So, every now and again Sarah  had sprayed one of Melanies perfumes, but it wasn't the same. 

She walked in and plumped the cushion on the bed with 'Mel' embroidered on it.  She moved the photo frame with the picture of Melanie and a group of her friends a centimetre to the left, then back to the right.   Melanie had chosen a bold, hot pink feature wall opposite the bed and she and Sarah had chosen a selection of photographs of special events and achievements to have enlarged, framed and put up.  Sean had been reluctant to put them up, given the cost of the paint that Sarah had insisted upon, but had agreed that it was important to surround Melanie with a positive environment.  What could be more inspiring than being reminded of how well you had done so far in life Sarah had reminded him.

Now however, was the last night that the room would be minus Melanie.  Well, until she went off to University in a week or so.  Sarah was a mixture of excitement, that tomorrow they would be picking their baby up from the airport and sadness that she would only get a week to listen to all the wonderful stories she would have to tell.  Then they would be taking her off for the new era in her life.  She was beyond proud however.  Melanie had achieved her predicted five A-Grades in her A-Levels.  Sarah had been thrilled that Melanie had asked her to go and collect the results from The Academy for her and that she had been the one to deliver the news.  She joked to Sean that the level of screaming could be heard all the way from Spain, she didn't need to hold the phone to her ear. 

In a little over a week Melanie would be starting her Sports Science degree at the top university in the country.  Sarah knew it would open so many doors for Melanie.  She truly felt that she and Sean really had done the very best they could for her and for that she was proud of them all.  She glanced at the corner in the room where she had packed all Melanies things for University neatly in boxes.  Sarah had undertaken the task over the summer so that they could just enjoy a relaxing week as a family on Melanies return, without stressing over what was needed for University.  Melanie had emailed a list over whilst she was travelling through Russia and Sarah had worked tirelessly to get the exact items she had requested.  She had also bought her a new, top of the range hot pink laptop as a surprise.  Sean would be surprised at that too but she would worry about that later.  She hoped he would be so thrilled to have Melanie home he wouldn't care.

She backed out of the room giving it one final glance to ensure it was perfect.  As she closed the door to Melanies bedroom she heard the front door open.

"Honey...I'm home!" Sean called jokingly as he always did.  Sarah walked down the stairs and greeted him with a smile.  Sean was tall and had once been lean, but after years of Client entertaining and good home cooked meals was now more of a 'stockier' physique.  Sarah thought that this suited him more.

"How was your day?" she asked, as she always did.  Sarah herself was tall and this helped her carry the little extra weight she found was not shifting since she had hit her forties.  It didn't concern her, she was confident enough to know that was part of getting older.  She was constantly told that she didn't look her age. She tried to ensure that she kept her hair well cut and had been lucky with her fair colouring not to have needed any assistance with it until the last few years.  She tried to keep up to date with fashion, without going over the dreaded 'mutton dressed as lamb' line.

"Good, good." he replied hanging his jacket up and placing his briefcase on the floor "Bet today dragged for you didn't it?" He knew she had been counting down the days to Melanies return.

"I kept myself busy, I did an extra afternoon over at the Library."  She followed him into the kitchen.  She checked on the casserole in the oven, Melanie didn't care for casserole so she thought it would be nice to make it for Sean as a treat while she was away.  The smell that escaped from the oven created a smile on Sean's face.

"Mmmm my favourite." he said peeking in at the bubbly gravy dish "I am a lucky man." He hugged her from behind and kissed her on the cheek "Drink?" he asked heading for the under-counter wine fridge.

"Love one." She replied "Well it won't be on the menu for the rest of the week while Mel's back." She said stirring it and closing the oven door "I was thinking maybe we could take her out to dinner tomorrow night, if she has the energy of course - she might be feeling a bit you know, down, that her trip is over."

"Down?"  Sean said, perusing the wine choice before him "She's just been on a jaunt around Europe for three months and is off to University next week, what has she got to be down about?"  He stood up smiling at the bottle he held in his hand "Perfect." he stated.

"The fact that she is no longer on her travels," Sarah replied.  "I thought if we went to that lovely new Italian on Cross Street it might make her feel she has an extended day of Europe."

"OK."  Sean agreed opening the glass fronted kitchen cabinet, pulling out two wine glasses. "If that's what you want."

"Yes.  I think that will be a lovely first night back together.  Well, if it's what Melanie wants." Sarah corrected herself.

For previous installments of Camomile Crescent please click here.

What Has Made Me Cheerful This Week?

In line with my efforts at positive thinking it is time for :

 

Reasons to be Cheerful with Mummy From The Heart.

 

So, without further ado here are my reasons to be cheerful this week :

 

* J1 started back at school without tears or fretting.  This has continued into week number two, much to our delight.  Although he wasn't changing classes this year, the structure of make up of children and teachers / assistants has changed so it was as good as.  But, he seems to be thoroughly enjoying it and is coming home smiling, bubbly and cheeky.

 

* I have re-started with our healthy eating meal planning / cooking.  This seriously lapsed over the summer, probably due to the change in our daily routine.  Plus with my race approaching in October I need to be eating healthily as well as training so needed all round.  We have even been able to have some home-grown vegetables from the Greenhouse!

 

* As mentioned in yesterdays post 'The Disability Diaries - Holiday of a Lifetime' we have booked a fabulous vacation to Florida for next year.  This has boosted everybodies spirits and we are looking forward to it and planning with gusto.

 

* In preparation for the above holiday I have started potty training with J2.  We are having good and bad days but hopefully are heading in the right direction.  Watch this space.

 

* We recently purchased Annual Gold cards for our local Zoo as they were on a brilliant offer, so have been able to make the most of those in the last few days of warm summer weather.  The Hubby was even able to come this time so extra lovely.

 

* The boys and I had a wonderful afternoon of messy play in the garden at the weekend.  We did lots of hand and feet painting.  I am so pleased with how they have come out that I am thinking about framing them for the wall.

 

If you want to read about what has made other people cheerful this week head over to Mummy From The Heart.

 

 

The Disability Diaries (The Life of J1) : The Holiday of a Lifetime

I have indicated in previous posts that things have been getting tough with J1 in ways other than his physical disabilities.  I do not mean for J1, but for me.

 

J1 is developing a fantastic sense of real awareness which is wonderful in so many ways.  The downside to this is that he is also developing the understanding of frustration.  The understanding of things he can not do, that other children around him can.  Things he would like to do but physically is unable to achieve.

 

For me, this lead to trying to explain why he can not do things as easily as others may be able too.  To trying to remind him with gusto of all the things he can do.  To desperately try and think of things that we can do, altogether, so that he doesn't have to worry about not being able to join in with his brother or friends.

 

To J1, I have been a cheerleader of positivity and 'can do'.  In private I have cried, felt frustrated myself and very low.  It kick started that anger only induced by the feeling of extreme unfairness.  The feeling of looking for someone to take responsibility for what happened to J1, only to find that is as productive as trying to climb a mountain made of fine ash.

 

I went along to my doctor, having seen the signs of a slippery slope approaching, who referred me to a good counsellor.  From this some of the negativity has subsided.  This teamed with the sheer inspiration and opinion defying wonder that was the London 2012 Paralympic Games has propelled my energy back into being more proactive.

 

We thought about what we could do, as a family that would be amazing.  Something mammoth that would stay with the boys forever.  I knew what I wanted to do.  Have wanted to do for sometime.  Something that would be a big undertaking, requiring a lot of research, a lot of phone calls, a lot working with other people to make it happen.  A lot of saving.

 

We wanted Florida.  We wanted Disney, Universal, Seaworld, Water parks.  We wanted the holiday of a lifetime.  So we decided it is time to make it happen. 

 

After weeks of browsing hotels, for those with suitable rooms, amenities, environments we narrowed it down.  After numerous phone calls to the airlines 'special assistance' hotline regarding specialist flight seats, hold capacity (as J1's chair does not collapse), and what we could do with regard to changing J1's pad on the flight - we decided on a date to go.  After contacting many transport companies to find one with a wheelchair adapted vehicle that could also seat five additional passengers, plus luggage we decided on where we wanted our transfer too.

 

We built our dream holiday. 

 

We are making it happen.

 

We are going to take that leap of faith and hope that the people on the other end of the telephone are correct in what they are saying and that in reality we do not find ourselves facing a whole heap of challenges.  The biggest predicament so far has been the flight seat.  The childs flight seat would be ideal for J1, but already at 8 years old he is too big for it.  So we are having to rely on the different adult version.  I hope that the transport company have fully understood that J1 has to go in the car, in the wheelchair and the wheelchair must be fixed as a seat itself.  I hope that the hotel have reserved the 'accessible' room and do not just allocate it 'if it is available' when we arrive as we have read about in some cases before.  We can only hope that we were firm and clear enough in our phone calls.  We can only hope, because if we did anymore than that we would never have made the decision to actually do it. 

 

So, with sheer excitement welling in our belly, we are going to a place where J1 can get on the rides (well, most suitable ones of course - I don't think The Hulk will be sporting a wheelchair carriage but who cares we'll be in the marvel, magical land of Florida!).  We are going to a place where, for the boys, the characters they watch on TV will be real life.  We are going to a place where we know we will only need shorts and t.shirts and suncream.  

 

For three weeks we will take a step outside of the reality of life and build memories to stay with us all forever.  Roll on 2013 - watch out Orlando and Clearwater Beach we are on our way.

Hopes and Aims - Third Quarter Review

Wow.

September.  Already.

This means that we are three quarters of the way through the year.  Scary.

It also means it is time that I review and evaluate my 'Hopes and Aims for 2012' - as originated in January as part of the Groovy Mums initiative with the fabulous Kate on Thin Ice.

Deep breath - here goes with updates on the outstanding items since the last quarterly review :

 

Family

 

- Continue to encourage J1 to try new activities and adventures to help with his fine and gross motor skills and his speech

 

We are hoping that J1 will continue to develop his speech and sense of humour with his class at school during this new academic year.  He has already come home and told me a knock knock joke this week so I am hopeful!  We are also encouraging him to go to after school club again (although it didn't take much encouragement - thankfully he was raring to go) and to join in with the schools Boccia programme.  He loves Ten Pin Bowling so think he will really enjoy this.  If he takes to it a Boccia kit might be a good idea to notify Father Christmas with.

- Be more vigilant with J1's home physiotherapy, even though he complains

 

J1 seems to be having increased tension in his right leg which is a very bad sign, so this has been an absolute must.  We are also ensuring that we are getting clear and positive updates that he is receiving daily physiotherapy, in some form or another, at school.  We have also taken steps to be put into the Government 'Direct Payments' scheme (this isn't payment in finance.  It is 'hours' that you can acquire and use on things best for your child - ultimately it means you have much more control over the professional help you think your child needs as you 'spend' the hours in the right place.)  However, it is a long process of which we are only at the very beginning.

 

 

- Potty train J2

 

This has started and is going quite well.  We are using 'big boy' pants throughout the day and have been doing so for about a week.  Overall we are doing very well, including a whole 'dry' day at Nursery.  It has been handy that the weather has been warm enough to get washing out to dry on the line so any accidents have been easily sorted.  I am a very proud Mummy.

 

- Start weekly swim sessions with J2 again

 

This got postponed over the Summer Holidays due to the sheer volume of holiday makers using our local facilities.  This is one of the hazards of living in a seaside town.  However, now school has resumed and the term time schedule is back in place swimming will once again feature in our week.  The good thing is that J2 has been asking to go, so he must really enjoy it.

 

 

- Start saving for a big family holiday

 

I am pleased, excited and elated to report that not only did we start saving for our big family holiday - we have booked it!  It has taken much researching, phone calls and information seeking with regards to accommodating J1's needs, but we took the plunge and went for it.  Next year we will be meeting Mickey and Minne in Florida.  Much list making and planning to commence over the next few months.

- Child - proof new garden for the kids to use in spring

 

I am exceptionally pleased with the progress made on the garden in our new home over the summer.  I have written specific updates previously regarding this and am planning a new one (with photographs of course) soon - watch this space.

 

 

Personal

 

- Read at least 1 book a month

 

My aim was 12 books in 12 months and so far I am on track.  My current read is Jodi Picoult 'House Rules' which is very good.  I am thinking of doing a round up review at the end of the year on the 12 books I have read over the year.

 

 

- Try and run twice a week, establish some safe routes

This aim has manifested itself into a real hobby once again and I am still thoroughly enjoying it.  I am now back out running after a month of being forced to stop due to damaging my Patella Tendon.  I have got a 10K race on Sunday in a very pretty country village and was thrilled to smash my PB for 5K during my last Summer Series race in August.  I have also just had notification that entries are open for our local Half Marathon in March so will be signing up for that.  In the meantime the 'big race' I am preparing for is the BUPA Great South Run in October.

 

 

- Treat self to a spa afternoon once every 3 months

 

This has categorically not been happening.  However I have got a date for a fortnights time pencilled in with a friend so fingers crossed a couple of hours relaxing is on the horizon.

 

 

- Plan one weekend away a year, just Hubby and Me

 

This is happening, in conjunction with the BUPA Great South Run.  My parents have offered babysitting services so that The Hubby and I can travel to Portsmouth on Saturday morning and return on Monday.  Let's hope this fine weather continues until then.

 

 

- Try and be more positive on believing in what I can achieve

 

The Olympics and Paralympics legacies have brought this to light and made me think about it alot of late.  The running certainly helps with this too.  When I think to how I started, to how I have progressed lots more seems possible.  I believe this is also showing in the fact that I have started to not only write but publish some fictional writing.  I keep remembering that time ticks away and you never get that back so make the most of it, with whatever set of circumstances you have facing you.

 

In general I am just trying to be more proactive.  I have taken steps with regard to several things for J1, for example arranging demonstrations and getting quotes in for a specialist bike (demo was brilliant) and mobile hoist (a necessity).  I have to acknowledge that he is going to need more specialist items as he grows, as hard as that (still) is to accept.  He needs them and I am the one that has to ensure he has everything possible to make his life as easy, full and social as it can be.

We. Were. There.

I remember where I was when I got a text saying that we had won the bid to host the 2012 Summer Olympics (for the record Burger King...).    Cool, I thought.  I did not give it much more consideration than that with it being years away.

However, having been lucky enough to go to the Commonwealth Games in 2002 when they were held in Manchester, I did want to try and purchase tickets when they went on sale.  I have the most fantastic memories of our experience at the Commonwealths.  The atmosphere; the stadium; the communal areas set up with big screens; the friendliness of visitors, staff and volunteers.  Alas, like the majority of the rest of Britain, it seemed, I was not successful in a ticket bid.

As the momentum for the Olympics started to build, I watched more programmes and read more literature on this mammoth event.  The desire to attend grew.  I wanted to be part of 2012.  Then the adverts on Channel 4 started to catch my eye for the Paralympics.  Of course my interest in this was heightened more than ever being a mum to a severely disabled little boy.

I was glued to the TV for the Olympics period, but I wanted to actually be there for the Paralympics.  I was moved and inspired by the adverts alone and knew to attend the live event would be out of this world.  At the same time the whole country had been romanced by the Olympics and had started to open their eyes to the fact that it wasn't all about to come to an end.  A new wave of amazing Athletes were starting their bid to make history.

We managed to secure tickets for Wednesday 5 September 2012.  Our session was for the evening Athletics in the Stadium.  However our tickets allowed us entry into the park all day.  I wanted to make the most of it so set out an action plan for my husband and I.  It was exciting for two reasons; the first it was the Paralympics of course.  The second; it was a rare day out on our own. 

We set off with the weather beautiful and a spring in our step.  First stop was Tower Hill to get a photograph with the Bridge in the background.  We had done this when we spent a day in the London atmosphere whilst the Olympics were going on and the Olympic Rings were hanging off of it - naturally I needed a matching photo!

 

 



Next was a visit to Westfield Shopping Centre en-route to the Park entrance.  I have to say it was very enjoyable with a stop for (very reasonably priced) Nail Art

 

 





And to the top floor for lunch...

Then we strolled across the walkway, with hundreds of other excited attendees and through the 'airport style' security system.  As had been reported throughout the events all the staff and volunteers, police and armed forces were jovial and friendly.

 

 



We were then 'in' and it was a wonderful atmosphere.  We saw all the sites that have now become famous world over...

 

 

We also found this which I would love for my back garden if it is going spare...

 

 

 

There was so much to see and do in the Park the time flew by.  Before we knew it the announcements were being made that the gates for Stadium ticket holders were open.  We made our way over early which gave us good opportunity to get lots of cool photos of inside the Athletics Arena.

 

 

Our first race was a real treat, both Oscar Pistorious and Jonnie Peacock featured.  This was followed by lots of amazing finals and medal ceremonies, which all brought a tear to the eye.  The Ladies 100m for Visually Impaired athletes was a Brazilian one, two, three and their delight brought a cheer as big as if it was a British trio on the Podium.

 

We also experienced something very unusual.  The Mens 4 x 100m Relay for Visually Impaired athletes requires that the crowd is completely silent until the baton is handed over to the fourth participant.  They are relying on hearing the correct sound signals to make their race work.  Asking a crowd of 80,000 to contain their excitement for a relay race is a big task.  And it was the most surreal thing to do.  It just felt wrong, even though it was right!  The cheer after the last baton handover blew the roof off of the Stadium and made the wait worth it.

 

It was truly amazing to be part of London 2012.  The Paralympics in particular lived up to the expectation it teased with beforehand.  We really did see 'Superhumans' in action.  We really did see determination, focus and courage.  We really did see human kindness, peace and harmony.  Even if you are not a fan of sport, if you are a fan of any of those things you would have enjoyed this summer.

 

For us, as parents of a little boy with severe physical disabilities we saw the unexpected and the amazing.  We saw nothing short of miraculous achievements.  We saw disability slipping away and being replaced with sheer ability.  We saw HOPE.

 

Thank you London 2012